Being a teacher

You sit there,

with bright hopeful eyes looking at you.

Hoping for a fresh direction, a meaning new.

You sit there

wondering if you could ever be

all that you need to be

And then in moments things flow,

and you are lost in a chaotic whirlwind of

conversations high and low.

And then in a moment its over

leaving you empty and hollow

those very hopeful eyes

that once looked for hope outside

are now closed wide

And when they open,

its all so calm, so light

You sit there

there is no other place

you'd rather be

and no other sight

you'd rather see.

Karadaiya Nombu

Me in madisaar

I thought valentine's day was the most romantic day for couples. And being the eternal romantic that I am, I found this, beats everything!

March 14th (not feb)

I was dressed in red, there was candle light (okay, oil lamp), flowers (jasmine) and gourmet food (Kara and vella adai)

And I said

"Urugada Vennaiyum oradaiyum naan tharuven - orukaalum en kanavar ennai piriyadirukkanum"

I offer you (divine) butter and the rice made out of kaara arisi so bless me for my Husband's long life

Ever since I have gotten married, the pooja room has gained a special significance. And every month brings with a festival with deep meaning and relevance.

this particular festival (Nombu) called Karadayan Nombu especially important to married women.

Wearing Madisaar, I lit the Kuthu Valuku (traditional lamp) and tied the sacred thread.

The story goes that Savithri was the daughter of king Aswapathi who ruled Madradesha. She was married to Sathyavan, son of another king, according to her wish. Despite Naradha’s warning that Sathyavan would die within a year of marriage, Savithri married him. But as a devout wife, she started worshipping Goddess Gowri to protect her mangalyam, - that is, to change the fate and give her husband a long life. On the first day of Panguni, the following year, fate snatched away Sathyavan suddenly. When Yama appeared to take away the life of Sathyavan, Savithri did not give up easily. She argued with Yama, and regained the life of her spouse and lived happily ever after.

On this day, two special dishes are made and offered to the Lord. One is a salt savoury signifying Lord Siva and the other one is a sweet signifying Goddess Shakti.(Karadais and vella adais are specially made for the occasion with rice flour,jaggery and Kaaramani - a red coloured dry beans). The adais are then placed on the plantain leaves along with 'Vennai' (butter). Here is my Mother-in-law's recipe!

Kara and vella adai

Karadai

Kara Mani - red coloured beans- 1 cup steamed

salt, soaked rice (half hour), grated coconut

Dry fry till they are rice red colour, cool, powder the rice, season it with mustard, urad dal, chili, coriander leaf, aseofoteda

and boil it with water add grated coconut 1 cup. add overnight soaked Karamani. Add rice flour once it stars boiling, stir for ten minutes and keep aside when it gets a thick upma like texture. steam it in idly stand for 15 minutes

Velladai

jaggery 1 1/2 cup,

equal water

karamani half cup

boil water, pinch cardamom,

grated coconut 1 cup

1 spoon ghee

In boiling water add jaggery, when Jaggery melts add rice powder.stir till it gets a thick upma like texture

Steam both (kara and vella adai) in the cooker for 15-20 mins simultaneously.

The spider, the cobra and the elephant

Gopurum The of Srikalahasti Temple


Okay, I like totally agree with the fact that I did go into a period of dormancy, a time where no matter how hard I tried, and how many hours I spend (which I must confess that I didn't) I couldn't whip out anything even halfway publishable (I have high standards)

But now I feel this new surge of freshness and energy, and I guess I could be pretty much back in form. But then that can only be judged at the end of this post.

So as much as my Husband Kaushik would like to hear that this renewed freshness is due to his return from Germany, after more than two months......there is more to it.

The reason is our trip to Srikalahasti Temple. Our agenda at the temple was to perform the famous 'Rahu-Ketu' puja to pacify the planets. The temple is situated in a picturesque village about 20 Km from Tirupati.

It is one of the panchabhoota sthalam - representing five basic elements. This is the Vayu Sthalam among the Pancha Bootha Sthalams representing Air. The others are - Tiruvannamalai (Thejo sthalam - Fire) Kanchipuram (Prithvi sthalam - Earth) Tiruvanaikaval (Appu sthalam - Water) Chidambaram (Akasa sthalam - Space).

Legend has it that Lord Shiva disguised as Vayu (Air) observed that The Spider (SRI), Cobra (KALA) and Elephant (HASTI) worshipped Him very devotedly. So Lord Shiva made them to relieve from the curse and attain salvation, hence this place is called Srikalahasti.

We left from Tirupati at 6 am, where Krishna (my brother) joined us from Chennai, and as a cool party of four (including husband and mother in law) we boarded the bus to the temple. The temple seemed to be drenched in a divine energy that was so calming and refreshing. The hot weather was assuaged by the cool interiors of the temple which had more than a hundred pillars.

By the time we left Kalahasti, the sun was blazing so we hurried back to Tirupati wondering why the spider, cobra and the elephant were cursed in the first place.

Kaushik and Krishna at hotel Sarvana Bhavan

Randomly 'Ever after'

In fairy tales, wedding end with happily ever after.

After my whirlwind wedding where everything from scratch

happened in four m ' onths flat, i have nothing much to say.

they say everything's supposed to change after marriage.

Many things do, and many things dont. But its all for the good.

I suppose, anyway, barely a month into it, I dont think I am

expert enough to comment about it. But then even after 50 years into it

i doubt if I ever will be!

But its interesting.

I though I had it all figured out, getting married has directly resulted

in ruthlessly shattering all my concepts.

In short I really dont have anything to say, so I force meaningless

random sentences to fill in the spaces.

In many ways I have realized that marriage directly cuts out

the meaningless randomness in life that we become so accustomed,

which sometimes is a little tough to digest!

And for a marriage to take place itself, a million random things

have to fall in place.

Than one day, when:

kids star calling you 'Aunty',

you stop worrying about you weight (no wonder women bloat after marriage),

you start believing in weird superstitions,

words like 'saving' and 'planning' enters your vocabulary,

you start taking neighborhood gossip seriously

its starts sinking in that you're actually married.

But I guess at the end of the day, its still a series of random events that weirdly adds up to to 'ever after'!

Four more days...

And even my name changes!

I guess love does that to you, Something in you dissolves, melts and an unconditional acceptance dawns. I feel scared, sure...

But then I am really not. I feel I am ready to take on new responsibilities, knowing that

some one's there to catch me when I fall, and correct me when I make mistakes.

With four more days too go, there is a frenzy of activity around, the accommodation, the catering, guest lists. I look at it all through the eyes of outsider. knowing that, all these events and activities will melt into time.

As I get married and become ready to step into a world that is alien to me, to nurture instead of being nurtured, to be instead of being...its only natural to be anxious (or so I tell myself to stop myself from passing out of anxiety!!)

Its funny, how during a wedding the focus is on the celebration outside, but inside there is a quiet celebration too, a much more vibrant and lavish one, and one that stands the test of time.

In four more days,

even my name changes....

Rest with feelings

The Art of Living Ashram is teaming with splendor of Navaratri.

Gurudev broke his silence today, with the message, 'rest with feelings'.

This poem is inspired by him.

In thick of celebrations

all around

from depth of silence

not a sound

the message was loud and clear

rest with feelings my dear

You have come after a struggle

so long so hard

you were broken into pieces

into shards

now its over, I am near

rest with feeling my dear

Wake up to the beauty

all vibrant and fresh

from the illusion of chaos

delusion of mess

perfect as a juicy ripe pear

when you have rested

with feelings my dear

And now the sky's so blue

without a cloud

every thought can be heard out

aloud

dont doubt, all pain ends here

just rest with feelings my dear

Rest with feelings

Life's no longer an

unfulfilled dream

Rest with feelings

as sweet as cherries

as light as cream

A love so deep, cant help

but shed drops of tear

rest in bliss with feelings

my dear.

I'm just surprised.....!

1. 

At the way things have turned out (for the better)

How weird co-incidences turn out to be the best things in your life

How things change in-spite and despite

How everything changes and so will this

How come some people just dont get it!

The best things in life are purely by chance, by luck or by grace.

The fact that I got the best things in life by doing nothing.

How just being there can make all the difference

How some things cannot, will not and would not ever happen...and you know it!

At the fact that walking blindfolded is much easier than with eyes wide open.

That knowing that I dont know is the peak of knowledge.

When thing go wrong....its okay...it really is, it could get worse, and thats okay too.

How taking yourself sincerely not seriously makes all the difference.

How being happy is a decision not an end result.

How the only difference between getting something you always wanted and not getting something you always wanted is the word 'not'.

How taking bigger risks gets bigger results, if it fails, gets bigger learning.

How till the time you're really, totally absolutely clear about what you want to do, you're wasting your time, so if you're wasting time anyway, why not experiment and have fun.

That if you're not having fun, then something is seriously wrong.

Knowing that there is no bigger fun than being and doing right.

Its not surprise really, but a wonder, a sort of awe, at how things are so simple yet so complex. And its nice to be in this perpetual state, it adds a lot of spark to life.