It came prettyly masked in a vodka shot glass, and looked no less than an expensive wine. it cant be so bad...so I boldly took a long gulp, and suddenly I felt a horrid explosion on my senses, I could feel each cell of my body loudly revolting....my tastebuds wished they would die rather than suffer such inexplicable torture, and it wasnt long before I felt I would either pass out (I was already seeing stars) or puke out the everything (including the organs) that existed below my throat!
Life was going just fine, my long vacation in India had just begun, and then out of nowhere I suddenly loose a lot of money and my passport...added to that I had an ayurvedic treatment pending. Amidst all this confusion and a ton of paperwork to do (the worst thing that can happen on a vacation) three days ago, I was put between four walls, given a glassfull of the most distasteful ghee to quaff (part of my treatment).
Life was going just fine right...and then how come all of a sudden its nothing but chaos. And why did I ever agree to have this treatment, its not like I was sick or anything. At the most I pictured having exotic massages and sipping delicious herbal tea.
Then here I am three days into my treatment, my passport and other paperwork steadily growing into a mountain, my digestive system even more screwed than before and my mind, a raging furnace, with my family being the poor victims of my unpredictable outbursts (no wonder I cannot be unleashed to the unsuspecting public)
Its one of those moments in my life when everything I touch (smell, taste, breathe,speak) is destruction, one of those moments when I wonder how 'I' of all people who meditates everyday, is a good person (at least 99%...ok 95%) cares about people and the world, could end up in such a self created MESS! Its one of those moments when I just want to disappear into anonymity.
One of those moments when I feel all the bad karma I accumulated over all my past 86,000 lifetimes has just caught up with me.
As I ponder on all this...a certain lightness envelopes me, suddenly all those thoughts in my mind that are pulling me apart in thousand different pieces disappear and I realize, that this is not the first time I have been in a situation like this, the events may be different though.
Like the time I had no place to stay while in an internship in Mumbai, or missing the train to the most important event in my life. The same panic that gripped my heart each time with an intensity of 'its all over'.
And now this lightness feels like nothing but a play of mind, without which I would have nothing to learn from, nothing to share about, and no stories to tell.
Those moments in my life are like the bitter Ayurvedic ghee that I am forced to intake, whether I digest peacefully or with a tantrum and fight...its really my choice.
One thing is for sure, I always end up feeling light and cleansed after digesting it, if I take it in the right way.
