Ayurveda, life and lessons learnt!

It came prettyly masked in a vodka shot glass, and looked no less than an expensive wine. it cant be so bad...so I boldly took a long gulp, and suddenly I felt a horrid explosion on my senses, I could feel each cell of my body loudly revolting....my tastebuds wished they would die rather than suffer such inexplicable torture, and it wasnt long before I felt I would either pass out (I was already seeing stars) or puke out the everything (including the organs) that existed below my throat!

Life was going just fine, my long vacation in India had just begun, and then out of nowhere I suddenly loose a lot of money and my passport...added to that I had an ayurvedic treatment pending. Amidst all this confusion and a ton of paperwork to do (the worst thing that can happen on a vacation) three days ago, I was put between four walls, given a glassfull of the most distasteful ghee to quaff (part of my treatment).

Life was going just fine right...and then how come all of a sudden its nothing but chaos. And why did I ever agree to have this treatment, its not like I was sick or anything. At the most I pictured having exotic massages and sipping delicious herbal tea.

Then here I am three days into my treatment, my passport and other paperwork steadily growing into a mountain, my digestive system even more screwed than before and my mind, a raging furnace, with my family being the poor victims of my unpredictable outbursts (no wonder I cannot be unleashed to the unsuspecting public)

Its one of those moments in my life when everything I touch (smell, taste, breathe,speak) is destruction, one of those moments when I wonder how 'I' of all people who meditates everyday, is a good person (at least 99%...ok 95%) cares about people and the world, could end up in such a self created MESS! Its one of those moments when I just want to disappear into anonymity.

One of those moments when I feel all the bad karma I accumulated over all my past 86,000 lifetimes has just caught up with me.

As I ponder on all this...a certain lightness envelopes me, suddenly all those thoughts in my mind that are pulling me apart in thousand different pieces disappear and I realize, that this is not the first time I have been in a situation like this, the events may be different though.

Like the time I had no place to stay while in an internship in Mumbai, or missing the train to the most important event in my life. The same panic that gripped my heart each time with an intensity of 'its all over'.

And now this lightness feels like nothing but a play of mind, without which I would have nothing to learn from, nothing to share about, and no stories to tell.

Those moments in my life are like the bitter Ayurvedic ghee that I am forced to intake, whether I digest peacefully or with a tantrum and fight...its really my choice.

One thing is for sure, I always end up feeling light and cleansed after digesting it, if I take it in the right way.

Drenched in Kollam

Pic Credit: Srikanth

Things haven't been easy since the first moment I’d decided to go to Kollam. But I knew with some quirk of fate (called grace) I would land up. It was exactly one year ago that I saw Mahashivratri in Surat on TV and decided, that no matter I wanted to be there next year.

So after a lot of external conflicts (Boss, parents, missing train and a bus to Kollam) a few internal conflicts (when I missed the train), we finally landed in Kollam after a bumpy 14 hour bus ride in the end corner seat, turning all my insides into marshmallow. I’d already been feeling unwell for the past week, and could predict myself getting worse, so I thought, If i’m gonna get sick and take leave anyway, I might as well get sick in Kollam.

The first thing I hear as I reach the grounds is Gurudev’s voice taking Mahakriya, and it was then that it finally sunk in! I was finally finally finally here!
During the course of the day we went to the beach, and by evening we got ready and finally made it to the venue for the finale.
The blazing sun had finally shown signs of setting in, and as the twilight rays scattered the sky, it felt as if the whole environment was Drenched in a sacrosanct energy. There was a ramp that was constructed that was almost half a kilometre long, and nine feet high, where Gurudev could walk amidst the squealing public. There were satsangs, dance performances and even a powerpoint presentation, but most were oblivious of it, slipping into meditation before event the vibrant chanting began.




The next thing I know is that everyone around me standing on the chairs to get a glimpse of Gurudev walking on the ramp, in utter love and bliss. I have seen Guruji so many times, in so many satsangs over the past five years, but seeing him in this form, was like seeing him for the first time, like seeing pure unadulterated, uncensored divinity, that can knock out anything that has even an iota of life.

Then it was over in a blink of an eye, and here I am back at my office desk, typing out my experience in the hope of reliving even one moment of that.

And not for the first time, I realise how inadequate words can be when it comes to narrating some experiences.