Monday, September 24, 2018

Turning 30 and other scary things in life

A decade after sailing through your 20s, you suddenly stand at your threshold where you are undeniably a full grown adult. A checklist of activities programmed into you flashes in your mind.

And then suddenly you realize that one or two (or maybe a dozen) of them have still not been checked out. This is where you generally rewind your whole life and take a good look at all the choices you made.

Only to realize that these choices don't necessarily make you who you are. Apart from all these things, you are an individual. The way things have turned out in life, part destiny, part free will need not define the way you live in future.

Turning 30, I feel calm and confided with the way things have turned out, though not always smooth and easy, but always with a learning behind. I may not have all the things checked out by the society's stereotype on how a women should live her life, but I pretty much define life on my own term. I make my own checklist. The real freedom is the one from within.

or so I would like to....

In reality, turning 30, is daunting, brings hosts of insecurities, wishing I had more time to be young and crazy. Wishing I had better fashion sense, better career, wishing I could be a domesticated goddess as well as a successful professional and making a difference to the society all at once.

And then all I want to do is be a slobby mess, eat junk food, sleep in and wear yoga pants and flip Flops, and do Marathons on Netflix!

And then you realize that you moved half way across the world to start from the scratch, and five years down the road for expat wife, life still feels like starting from scratch over and over and over again.

In your 20's you want to conquer the world, make your dreams come true.

And then in some crazy, random way, when I unintentionally do something right, and it turns out 30's might not be such a bad idea after-all!

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