The curious case of Krishna Kalyan

Today’s the day I feel weirdly nostalgic about! Its Krishna’s (my brother’s) birthday. If he was around, we would have gone out to eat at some ridiculously expensive restaurant, and he would have demanded a ridiculously expensive gift (like a macbook pro).But since I am saving so much money, I decided to dedicate this post to him.

When he was born and I was about three, I remember being wildly angry at my parents and kicked, screamed and demanded them to go right back to the hospital, and leave him there.But since then, I’ve grown quiet affable to his presence (OMG I’ve endured 20 years of torture, no wonder our family turned spiritual).

Though we fought like cats and dogs, and I’d always outwit and outdo him at any combat. That is until 14, when gods suddenly decided to grace him with height, and he started resembling a bean pole overnight, and I knew that I was physically (rather vertically) challenged to fight our brutal wars. As a kid he was a FAT baby, and he would hardly talk, little did we know that the seeds of a master arguementator was being sown, and now with his words, he can baffle the most accomplished of word smith (even dad).

He loves speaking about himself, My earliest memories of krishna talking about himself in past tense when he was two years old, saying “ Jab main one dena half ka than na..(when I was one-dena half...).” And he would say that till he was 5.

At 6, I did something that he would never forgive me of, I poured half a bottle of vinegar (very smelly) on his head, and he smelt of vinegar for one week!This started the onslaught of our fragrance wars. Our dad had gone in a ship and brought these two horrid human repellent Jasmine perfume for our mom. And we caught hold of these and used it as our arsenal. One threat of using these would stop the most intense fight. But there were times when we did use it, and then we’d have to open all windows and switch on all the fans and only then could we breathe.

He started displaying leadership qualities at mere 9 years, when he became the youngest leader of a gang comprising 12 and 13 year olds (no proof, strictly his claims, citation needed). And finally at 15 he transformed into human magically after doing YES course with Shreya Didi. Read here about it. And then well, we all lived happily ever after.

That's it. Happy Birthday bro. When (and if) you are really famous one day, I promise to be your official biographer, and we will make millions and become really rich.