A few of my favourite things

Without you I am lost...German poem

2011-12-04T21:59:00.004+05:30

Okay so this is my fist attempt in writing a German poem, the words in it are also the sum total of my measly A2 level vocab in German, if there are any grammatical mistakes, blame google translate, its German grammar sucks!

ohne dich, bin ich verloren

kann ich nicht ,ganz gut sehen und horen

ohne dich bin ich niemand und nicht

alles ich kenne, ist du bist

Ohne dich mein leben ist verpasst

uber diese, keine ahnung du hast

aber bin ich nicht ohne dich

du bist uberall, sicher sich

alle ich sehe, alle ich mache

alle ich denke, ist uber du bist

manchmal habe ich angst

manchmal bin ich nicht sicher

weil ich dich vermisse

und ich fuhle mich allein

Dann habe ich zu viel fragen

aber kein antwort, ya oder nein

Und dann habe ich realisiert

du bist mein lebens kriesvekher

alle antwort habe ich gefunden

dass ohne dich, bin ich verloren

Ayurveda, life and lessons learnt!

2011-11-27T13:30:00.010+05:30

It came prettyly masked in a vodka shot glass, and looked no less than an expensive wine. it cant be so bad...so I boldly took a long gulp, and suddenly I felt a horrid explosion on my senses, I could feel each cell of my body loudly revolting....my tastebuds wished they would die rather than suffer such inexplicable torture, and it wasnt long before I felt I would either pass out (I was already seeing stars) or puke out the everything (including the organs) that existed below my throat!

Life was going just fine, my long vacation in India had just begun, and then out of nowhere I suddenly loose a lot of money and my passport...added to that I had an ayurvedic treatment pending. Amidst all this confusion and a ton of paperwork to do (the worst thing that can happen on a vacation) three days ago, I was put between four walls, given a glassfull of the most distasteful ghee to quaff (part of my treatment).

Life was going just fine right...and then how come all of a sudden its nothing but chaos. And why did I ever agree to have this treatment, its not like I was sick or anything. At the most I pictured having exotic massages and sipping delicious herbal tea.

Then here I am three days into my treatment, my passport and other paperwork steadily growing into a mountain, my digestive system even more screwed than before and my mind, a raging furnace, with my family being the poor victims of my unpredictable outbursts (no wonder I cannot be unleashed to the unsuspecting public)

Its one of those moments in my life when everything I touch (smell, taste, breathe,speak) is destruction, one of those moments when I wonder how 'I' of all people who meditates everyday, is a good person (at least 99%...ok 95%) cares about people and the world, could end up in such a self created MESS! Its one of those moments when I just want to disappear into anonymity.

One of those moments when I feel all the bad karma I accumulated over all my past 86,000 lifetimes has just caught up with me.

As I ponder on all this...a certain lightness envelopes me, suddenly all those thoughts in my mind that are pulling me apart in thousand different pieces disappear and I realize, that this is not the first time I have been in a situation like this, the events may be different though.

Like the time I had no place to stay while in an internship in Mumbai, or missing the train to the most important event in my life. The same panic that gripped my heart each time with an intensity of 'its all over'.

And now this lightness feels like nothing but a play of mind, without which I would have nothing to learn from, nothing to share about, and no stories to tell.

Those moments in my life are like the bitter Ayurvedic ghee that I am forced to intake, whether I digest peacefully or with a tantrum and fight...its really my choice.

One thing is for sure, I always end up feeling light and cleansed after digesting it, if I take it in the right way.

Drowning in utter deliciousness apple cake!

2011-09-15T19:09:00.008+05:30

So due to popular demand this recipe is already here...I don't think its easy to make this in India, as I am not sure if some of the ingredients I used will be available. Its flour less, eggless and you just need to mix in the ingredients and you are good to go. Not to mention thats its so delicious and magical, I cant seem to stop baking it!

This recipe is also special because it has been made in Bad Antogast many times, and been served to Guruji also. It was handed over from Danny our fabulous cook at the Berlin centre, perfected by Shailaja Patil..and finally passed over to me. Its also so exclusive that you can't find it anywhere online!

So here are the ingredients

1 pack (200 gms) hazelnut powder (I am sure you can powder almonds in a food processor and get the same results not tried it yet though

1 cup (250 gms) semolina (or suji rawa)

100 grams white butter

2/3 cup sugar (better to use brown sugar or maple syrup (150 ml))

3 grated apples or 2 pureed banana (depending on which fruit flavor you want)

cinnamon powder, 1/2 teaspoon

Baking powder (1 teaspoon)

little bit whole milk to mix.

Procedure

preheat the over to 180 c for about 5-10 mins. Mix all these ingredients and use a little milk to make it into smooth gooey batter. Line the baking form with baking paper or grease it and coat it with white flour. Pour the batter into the baking form and shove it into the oven, and crank up the heat to 200 c. Bake it for appox 40 mins and until an unbelievable aroma of exquisite cinnamon and nut fills your kitchen. Remove from the oven and let it cool for about 20 mins.

And oh! do remember to invite me for a bite :)

Confessions of an accidental hausfrau in Munich

2011-09-07T15:40:00.009+05:30

Well as one would think life is not all about planning the menu for the next meal, or pushing huge shopping carts through the aisles in supermarkets (well that too of course). Its much more than that. But many that are not so obvious like-

Catching that extra minutes (okay maybe hours) of snooze after packing off hubby to school..sorry work.

Turning the kitchen into an experimental lab, and you-know-who into the Guinea Pig.

Coming up with creative idea to metamorphosis leftovers into gourmet delights

Being hours online researching new recipes and then deciding not to cook it

Taking Ayurveda seriously (when else do u have the time)

Watching the various changes of the weather from the window...its always too cold, too sunny..or too perfect to go out!

Ignoring a pile of steadily growing to-be-ironed clothes, until there is no more space or no clothes to wear

Walking into a furniture store and being utterly dispassionate, knowing you have to build each thing..nut, bolt and screw

Walking into a clothing store and being utterly dispassionate, knowing you will get better stuff, for a faction of the price in India (unless you are talking about trench coats and stiefels)

Walking into one of the cloned indian restaurants with cloned mango lassi and papad with 3 different dipping and chai that costs 3 euros

Just walking and walking and walking!

Wondering how come there are so many ways to waste time rather than spend it usefully.

Forgetting english...writing 'haus', instead of house three times in a row before realizing it.

The cheapest activity to do here is to do nothing (courtsy- Suman Ramaswamy)

Eating in Vapiano for the 80th time....and realizing that this is the ultimate Shanti sagar of Germany!

Either ridiculously easy or unnecessarily complicated- its German!

If you are late...just be late enough to get there early next day!

Cursing the transportation system for being so damm punctual! and more than occasionally praying that the U-bahn is late, for the sheer pleasure of watching the reaction of the German

population going 'Oh mein gott- es ist schlecht'.

Out of habit walking into a bookstore and walking out with an strong sense of betrayal...what! I live in a corner of the world that looks and feel like english...but is so not english.

Talking about the weather at least 40 times a day, no wonder wetter.de is the most popular website, though not the most accurate in its predictions.

So guess I have summarized my whole life in a few lines. It doesn't end here though.....

Tchuss!!!

July 2nd- Why it rained in Berlin

2011-07-12T03:33:00.007+05:30

It came like a hurricane of celebration...and wham! in a blink of an eye it disappeared.

What it left behind was a string of amazing memories that would stay a lifetime.

Kaushik and I were escorting the VIP's at the event (world culture festival) along with Ramki Anna and Radha-one of the cutest tam-bhram couples I have ever met. Ramki Anna is, an ardent Apple fan (has enough Apple products to turn his house into a Apple shop) and a biker, and Radha....well she cooks like a dream!

So four of us were placed on different VIP exits, except for Kaushik, who would periodically disappear for long period of time and then reappear suddenly out of nowhere. So the most brilliant part of the job was we got to see the biggest VVIP of all (Guruji of course) whenever he entered and left.

The first day we entered the olympia stadium, it was pouring! but we were confident! weather! huh! Guruji will take care...just like he has many many times in the past. We have had courses in the past of 1000 youths in Bangalore where it poured everywhere but on the open air ground where the course took place. Traffic jams had been cleared, the clouds miraculously parted. So rain was no big deal.

But then the festival began

And it rained

upto 2000 dancers danced

and it rained

there were musical concerts of 1000 guitarists

and it rained.

1000 yogis performed

and it rained brilliantly.

It was cold and chaotic and damp. But the spirit was never dampened. It was fresh, exuberant, blissful and...magical. And then we all transcended all the sound and music to silence, as more than 40,000 people meditated together. As one of the organizers from Olympia stadium later

quoted, "I have never seen so many people in a full stadium in silence!".

I see this over and over again in Art of living. And every time I am wonder struck. How does he do it. Bring all these people from all over the world together (I met my cousins who were in the US, who I had only heard of till then but never met) and feel so connected. Make service and love so effortless. More than a 1000 volunteers who worked for weeks together for the event, with hardly any stress, but only fun and celebration.

How does he do it. Was it with a swish of his hand, with a blink of an eye, snap of his fingers. I have no idea.

More than anything in this would I wish I could tell the world to wake up....wake up and see what its missing!

Its 1 am in the morning. And a few days to Gurupoornima. With a Guru in one's life, even the darkest and gloomiest times are celebration, that is what the world culture festival meant for me. Even with all the rain and bad weather, with the master it was the best celebration.

Most of the celebrations in the world leave you empty, but this celebration is deep, meaningful and healing for the soul.

This friday, is Gurupoornima...the full moon dedicated to the Guru, and an opportunity to express your gratitude.

Yoga Performance at the WCF

How we sang, danced and meditated in Berlin :)

2011-07-07T01:37:00.005+05:30

Berlin

Its a city like none other, with a big heart and soul.

the first time I came to Berlin last year, I could feel an automatic expansion.

its openess, the way it opens its door (and also broken its walls) to accept

the whole world is something that is reflected in very stone, every brick in Berlin.

World culture festival

when I first heard about it, it felt like a dream. Filling a whole football stadium with people and making them meditate….c'mon this is Europe!!! we get alcohol more easily than water here.

And so, meditation is just a far off airy fairy idea, which is way beyond their imagination.

And we are going to fill up a huge olympic football stadium!

And then last week I went to Berlin. Doing everything we can to fill that stadium and explaining to people in my atrocious broken German, why its such a 'big deal' when 70,000 people meditate together.

We danced in front of the Brandenburger Tor

We did suryanamaskars in the middle of Alexandeplatz

We sang in weird out of tune chorus ……

anything anything that would catch their attention and make them listen to what we had to say. The funny thing was that we had nothing to say. Only to convey that we are here to celebrate…and come join us in biggest celebration.

The the most blissful way to celebrating is to stimulate the soul through meditation…..the only hangover you get after this is a tremendous focus, ability to handle your emotions, inner strength and boundless enthusiasm.

But not everyone and everybody gets this. People have sorta closed themselves and bound themselves in concepts that are not helping either them or others around.

This festival and the city of Berlin I feel stands as a metaphor for human minds. The human mind needs to break its walls and grow up to accept the reality and align itself to what is natural. And finally get connected to the whole world. 90 percent of the world just eats, sleeps…..dies. Then what is it that distinguishes us from animals?

For me Berlin represents the coming of a new age in the world, where spirituality is not just a trend, but a pressing need of the hour, and the only solution to the biggest problems in the world today.

Its sounds crazy and also very cool. And I for one am so excited to be a part of this amazing revolution thats about to overtake the world. I can almost feel the shift in human consciousness waiting to happen in Europe….all radiating from Berlin.

So 2nd of July came. We sang, we danced, we meditated...in rain!

It felt like our souls were watered with love, joy, enthusiasm, and celebration that will be unforgettable for those who were part of it. Like Guruji said (also in the video below), "real celebration is when we celebrate and serve in spite of all adversity". And we got the experience of this by organizing the huge event in the rain! With all the colors of the rainbow (our theme song)

Before Berlin

2011-06-22T15:09:00.002+05:30

I have this unbelievable fusion of emotion buzzing in me. Germany, the country where I live, is hosting the biggest, most awesome festival in Berlin, all set to host 100,000 people from all over the world.

I just cannot get over how lucky I am. A part of me wishes that it wasn't coming so near (less than 2 weeks), so that I can live this anticipation and enjoy it a little longer and a part of me is so psyched, that I wish it was right now! Its kinda like a six year old, a night before Birthday.

I remember 5 years ago when a attended an event like this in Bangalore, with 2.5 million people. Something changed after that. My life took a turn I became more spiritual, more committed, and life became more focused.

This time, in Berlin, I have no idea whats in store, and what after it. Just the fact that I am here, to witness a part of history in making. Many terrible things have happened in Germany in the past. Its as if, these two days in Berlin, will compensate for that and more.

That is the is the power of meditation, love and service. Exactly what Berlin brings together for two days.

And I cannot wait to be there and welcome the whole world!

New beginnings!

2011-06-17T11:40:00.006+05:30

Its one of those times, when I feel this compelling urge to write (you can see that it doesnt happen too often), and then I am foolish enough to let it go, and once that moment is gone, that it! its over. But today I decided that I will chain myself to my mac, till the time I get a post done.

Many things have changed since I have come back to Germany...after the crazy, hectic action packed 3 months in India. Where I had hardly a minute for myself. Let me do a quick recap!

Naadavaibhavam

So as soon as I landed India (Jan end), I was thrown in the middle of the most brilliant musical extravaganza. That one evening, I think even gods and angels (we know for real as well) wouldn't have missed. That one evening, I transformed from 'couldnt care less about carnatic music' (I have no right to call myself tambram) to an ardent fan. One of my favourites was 'aadvome' written by Subramanya Bharathiyar a famous Indian freedom fighter. This song most brilliantly captures the spirit of joy and freedom. Now hearing this from a chorus of 7000 professional classical singers was one of those moments in life when everything comes together in a scale that is beyond perfection. Unfortunately I couldnt find the song in YouTube, so here is another one called 'Ananda amrutha varshini' litrally meaning 'rain of joy, which is also wonderful!

Manvathe Project

Made up for all my inactivity in Germany :) read my earlier posts :D.

Driving lessons

Now thats a story for a new post- how corruption has infiltrated into every nook and cranny

of Indian bureaucracy.

My nephews Upanayanam ceremony

I have the cutest pair of twin nephews, aged nine, and this was a big day for them. It was almost like a mini wedding. Upanayanam means taking near (to oneself), this is supposed to be the highest knowledge and very young children are initiated into it. As a child is ready to enter the outside world, when armed with the knowledge of the self, he is unshaken by the vicissitudes of life.

Poonal ceremony of Shyam (left) and Skanda.

Back to Germany

Well, it is very pleasant to be back, the weather is brilliant, and we spent three amazing days with Guruji in Berlin and Dresden. My childhood friend Pavitra flew from London, it goes to show, that going that little extra mile and keeping in touch especially with those who matter means a lot. Now we are just looking forward to the biggest event in Europe ever. The World Culture Festival on 2nd and 3rd July in Berlin. If you are in Europe or even if you have the remotest possibility to make it, be here. There couldnt be anything more exciting happening than 100,000 people celebrating the world culture and meditating for world peace.

I will have much more to share in the coming weeks. But this I think is a good start.

Tschuss!

Rural highs and lows

2011-04-06T13:01:00.004+05:30

Rural highs and lows

I had just flown back after three months in Germany, and landed directly in the midst of Manavathe.

An Art of Living project where YES!+ teachers had to go teach ‘Human values, Yoga and Kriya for 45,000 second year students of Government colleges all over Karnataka.

So there I was fresh from experiencing the height of human technology and luxury from German train (upto seconds precisions) to automated vending machines like every five yards.

I was thrown into interior districts of Dharwad, villages, where the only signs of technological advancement existed in the form of cell phones and unmistakable satellite television that was spotted on top of the smallest thatched hut.

My first rural destination was in a tiny village called Kalas, there are only two ways to get to the village. Both of which will take no less then three hours. I boarded the train from Hubli and reached Kalas.

Not really, the village was about 20 minutes in a shared auto from the station. Now this contraption in motion called ‘shared auto’ is a phenomenon in itself. For the inexperienced like me it was the vehicle from hell. For one, if you don’t get into it(and I didn’t the first time out of pride), you take a one hour picturesque but torturous trek in the scorching sun. If you get into it (which you have no choice) you are squeezed into a eight by five box stuffed with twenty other human beings, and ten more on top of the vehicle (there could be animals, I was too much in pain to notice) and for the next twenty minutes you go on a blind ride on Kaccha roads.

I preferred to suffocate by holding my breadth than inhaling fumes of sweat and dust all directly assaulting my senses. Once the vehicle came to a grinding halt, and I was almost spitted out, I rejoiced in ecstasy on breathing fresh air.

And then there was the food…thankfully there was curd rice that I could depend on. It was really the water that gave me the horrendous bout of dysentery. Now that in a place with severe sanitary challenges is terrific. I started getting recurring dreams of a normal loo. I mean like the loo in Indian railway stations!

Before going to the village, my only concern was how I will get access to Internet. But throughout my five days in the village, I never once though about it.

And oh, I forgot to mention that the entire course was taught in my almost non existent Kannada vocabulary. If there was one thing I learnt, it was this.

I could be in the best place in the world, and complain about life.

I could be in the worst place in the world and not complain.

All these worries and complaints dropped in a second when I saw those shining faces of students so grateful for this beautiful knowledge. I knew that I would rather travel in those ‘shared autos’ in Dharwad, to do this work, than travel the fastest German trains for sightseeing Europe. I have the best experiences, best job, and the best BOSS ever!!!

A fairy tale christmas

2011-03-24T11:13:00.005+05:30

The Akadamie Bad Antogast

Bad Antogast!!!

I first heard this name a few months after I did the Art of living course in one of the knowledge sheets.

An Ashram in the midst of German black forest….I would expect an old haunted castle, but an Ashram??? I was intrigued by the very idea.

And then one day we drove from Frankfurt through the picturesque village of Oppnau…it was the beginnings of Christmas season. The snow capped mountains were surrounded by forests of pine trees. It couldn't be more Christmassy

The village was scattered with quaint houses with cute steaming chimneys. It was right out of a fairy tale, and I was almost expecting kids called Hansel and Gretel or little Red Riding hood to come bursting out of the houses that had wooden doors, antique Knockers and decorated windows.

Through the windows of little shops I could see old men smoking pipe, reading daily paper and sipping on hot chocolate.

Finally our car stopped in front of ‘Akademie Bad Antogast’. Being enraptured by the picturesque beauty of the whole scene around, I didn’t feel like entering the building, lest I would have to leave the scene behind. I walked up the stone cobbled steps and entered a warm room with hot tea, cookies and a fire place.

It felt more like an exotic spa rather than an ashram. And yet, after an enthusiastic greeting

“Jaigurudev!! sind sie kommen aus Bangalore….das is sehr schone!” I knew I was so at home.

The next day we went with out black plastic bags (okay the garbage bags) for a unique skiing experience down the snow covered steeps….the byproduct being frozen noses, butts and oodles of crazy fun.

A few days later I hear soft footsteps walking down the wooden staircase, and huge crowd standing to welcome him, he came wearing one of those ridicules Santa caps, which surprisingly suited him.....

The Satsang began…..the star on top of the Christmas tree was finally added.

It was one of those increasingly frequent times in my life, where I had to pinch myself to make sure ‘am I really here. The melody of ‘silent night trilled and I could see blissful faces from more than 30 different countries. The Dinner was delicious German cakes with salad, soup and Baked spiced potatoes.

Adventure, fun, music, grace, devotion, celebration……nothing can beat this, not even fairy tales.

Europe and more..

2010-11-03T18:48:00.005+05:30

I wake up to a gloomy overcast sky, and realize, OMG, I have just changed time zones, I look at the time, expecting it to be ridiculously early. Unfortunately it shows an embarrassing mid noon time...which rules out the possibility of that extra snooze I had planned in my mind.
On Mein Gott!!!.....
I look out of the window, and I see lovely mustard and orange autumn trees forming a picture perfect scenery flanking the red roofed buildings. Sure I miss India, but this aint bad either.
Oh breakfast, the jams, cheese, the muesli, the yogurt.......it sure is a buffet.

Shopping has always been one of my sad weaknesses, and Europe is not helping, stuff here being expensive and well...new to my rather unindulged senses. Even from the supermarkets, my Hubby has to eventually has to drag me out kicking and screaming.
Food...I know I already mentioned it. If there is one thing I have a crazy irresistible weakness for, its cheese. So one week of pizza and pastas (always with extra cheese) and I knew......how much more I could have of it. Only prayers could save me from an inevitable burst in seams.

okay...so that was my first week in Germany, full of extreme tamas and rajas.
And how here I am in Hamburg, at the Art of Living centre, to my surprise I find that utter sattva (life) can exist here as well. Session with YES plus teacher Saleel bhaiya cooking with Sarah (another brilliant and sweet Iranian Yes plus teacher) and lots of brilliant Sadhana, and I cant even remember my first week in Germany. Somehow in love and sattva, the same things that you do feel so much more new and Intense.

So actually today is exactly one week in this new country. So bis spater und tchus!!!

Thiruvannamalai

2010-09-14T13:16:00.005+05:30

I've actually been saving up writing about this place until I know enough to do justice to a place like this.

I have almost been here for a month now, and even now I fail to come up with a single adjective to describe it. Nor do I want to go overboard by using mere words that anyway sound shallow.

Pilgrims from all over the world flock to this place, one of the Panchamahabootha sthalas, Thiruvannamalai is the 'agni lingam', which represents the 'fire' element.

Ever since my parents settled here 3 months ago, I always wanted to come here on the full moon, and do the famous 'Girivalam,' a 14 km trek around the mountain, the main attraction of this place.

As luck would have it, I came here to recover from my illness, and doing the trek was out of the question, so here I am, being ruthlessly, utterly pampered by my parents, eating awesome food and soaking in some awesome culture (Ha! that got you jealous)

The first thing I saw as I entered this idyllic temple town, was a majestic mountain that overshadowed everything else here. This was the sacred 'Aruna shivalinga mountain', meaning the whole mountain itself here was worshipped as the shivalinga. In the coming days as I recovered, I realized that the temple here is just the symbolic aspect to the city itself, and its actually the city of Thiruvannamalai which is the actual temple, the mountain, the linga.

This city is scattered with ashrams, where masters like Ramana maharishi, Yogi Ram Surat Kumar and Sheshadari Swamigal meditated and attained enlightenment.

The main temple, the 'Arulmigu Arunachaleshwar koil' , with the presiding deity of Shiva and Parvathi as Annamalaiyar and Unnamulaiamman is more than a 1000 years old. Throughout the temple one can feel the fire element emanating from its space having a strange cleansing effect, especially when you enter the inner shrine.

The town itself of course is a brilliant tourist hub, especially in the Ramanashram side of the town, which is majorly popular among foreigners, the city feels like a cross between the colorful Goa and spiritual Varanasi. So you can meditate every evening and then head for delicious wood fire baked pizzas.

So this whole month has been an extended holiday. I don't know how long I am going to be here, but I could sure get used to waking up to the birds and peacocks (okay, by the time I wake up, they are gone, but I swear I hear them in my dreams) , a view with the majestic mountains and wood fire baked pizzas (not yet tried them, but they sound delicious). And I for once am in no great hurry to recover!!!!!

some more randomness

2010-09-09T14:28:00.002+05:30

Since I have been consistently inconsistent at updating my blog, and equally inconsistent at coming up with new topics and subjects that could revive my otherwise dying blog, I've decided to ramble random stuff, which may or may not (more likely) make sense.

And hopefully that might just be enough to resuscitate my blog!!

Right now I am in this beautiful temple town of Thiruvannamalai, on a long holiday, recovering from an illness. There are a few things I have realised this past month of roller coaster life.

That -

Sometimes somethings just don't work out, maybe its not meant to be, maybe you've just gotta wait.....only time can tell.

Sometimes you need a break....and there's nothing wrong with that.

When you need help, speak up, especially to people who are the closest to you.

sorry, didn't mean to descend into an advice giving mode. But life does come a full circle sometimes, and you need relearn many things that you forget on the way......there I go again.

But for me, the past 3 months has been journey in relearning a lot of thing I used to know, and going back to being a lot of things I used to be. In a way I am rediscovering my identity, In a way I know it was never lost and In a way I realise that this does not stop here. All my epiphanies some day will be rendered void and senseless, as I keep rediscovering myself, and unfolding layers.

I continue to build sand castles, which I know would come tumbling right down one day.

But each time, I build a stronger and better one.....and who knows, maybe one day it will be strong enough to withstand every Stormy weather. Till then I just keep building.

What a wonder!

2010-06-14T10:45:00.005+05:30

Ashtavakra Gita is profound but little known knowledge given to King Janaka 7000 years ago by sage Ashtavakra. This discourse is being given by His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shanker in Bangalore Art of living Centre

Its 7 30 pm, and for the past almost one month, Guruji's Ashtavakra discourse has been raining on my mind, this time, every evening. The yagnashala fills up, the satsang starts. He walks in unassumingly. Closes his eyes and slips into meditation. You don't know when the songs stop.

But suddenly there is silence. A poetry of Ashtavakra is read by a lady in an intense pure poetic Hindi, ending with 'Aashcharya hai, aashcharya hai' (what a wonder, what a wonder).

And then he starts. Sometimes its with a slokas, sometimes its with a random question through which he leads into the depth of profound knowledge, filled with funny anecdotes, Mullah Nasiruddin stories (audience's favorites) and witty punchline in a near flawless Hindi.

Amazingly that day's knowledge feels as though its exactly what you've experienced, and filters through you on an existential level.

The night closes sometimes the knowledge echoes in your mind, but more often, you're just blank. Probably as blank as king Janaka in bliss and wonderment through the very presence of Ashtavakra.

Well if you're not fortunate enough to be a part of this phenomenon, the discourse will be available in DVD's soon (highly edited form though), also very cool tweets are sent by Bau every day.

Avatar.... and Mugu mugu

2010-05-15T01:37:00.005+05:30

no, not the movie....but my blog

With so many changes renewing my life again and again,

its only fair that I renew this blog.

so..(drumroll).....Ta da!

Here's the new Avatar of AFOMFT (A few of my favourite things)

And I have to admit I pretty much like it, there is always scope of improvement

(like everything else in life) but I guess if the basic are in place, the details

can be taken care of (again like everything else in life)

I have written on a variety of topics, but it wouldn't hurt to get some suggestions on what you would like read on this blog. Could be anything from Guru stories (I have quiet a few to share) to recipes (an area where I am yet to establish my competency) to Guitar notes (Yes! I play guitar)

And oh...I have to ex press my inexpressible indebtedness to Mugu-mugu (thanks to Reema for the name) my almost new- Macbook (well getting married has its advantages).

So just like a gourmet chef in his kitchen, I with my Mugu mugu plan to whip out batches of delectable stories, articles and random musings... and all stuff that makes its into my list of AFOMFT and then some which don't.

Guru n Stuff n Stories

2010-05-12T22:05:00.008+05:30

yeah.....

Things like guru and spirituality seemed more like brain washing and escapism. I was so totally NOT the guru type. Just the mention of someone with long robes and beard...and I headed

10 miles in the opposite direction.

Then one day something touched me. Like never before.

Tears poured out. Like never before.

Tears of gratitude, tears of bliss, tears of love.

I still told myself, I am so not the Guru kind. And I will NOT get 'brain washed'.

But something unexplainable pulled me in his direction.

The way just one smile would make you forget all your problems

The way one glance would transform your life

the way one sign would rearrange the universe, making it just a playground for you

So effortlessly, so easily, so innocently, so mischievously, so lovingly creating deep knowledge to crazy confusion to intense emotions to explosive frustrations just for you to go through it all.

At times you feel being on this 'path' is so much more painful (so why be here in the first place)

then you feel like the luckiest creature on earth coz he looked at you (even if he was really looking at the 'elephant' behind(then the elephant is the luckiest creature))

And then all you are left with is a bunch of random sentences trying so hard to be a story.

And yet there is a story in every word. A Guru story.

When he looked

when he smiled

when he waved

when he laughed

when he pointed

when he paused

When he exists.

On the eve of his B'day I have nothing to say. OMG I am soooooo Brainwashed.

And if being brainwashed is so much love and joy...I wish every person gets his 'brains' washed.

Being a teacher

2010-04-15T23:17:00.005+05:30

You sit there,

with bright hopeful eyes looking at you.

Hoping for a fresh direction, a meaning new.

You sit there

wondering if you could ever be

all that you need to be

And then in moments things flow,

and you are lost in a chaotic whirlwind of

conversations high and low.

And then in a moment its over

leaving you empty and hollow

those very hopeful eyes

that once looked for hope outside

are now closed wide

And when they open,

its all so calm, so light

You sit there

there is no other place

you'd rather be

and no other sight

you'd rather see.

Karadaiya Nombu

2010-03-23T19:16:00.009+05:30

Me in madisaar

I thought valentine's day was the most romantic day for couples. And being the eternal romantic that I am, I found this, beats everything!

March 14th (not feb)

I was dressed in red, there was candle light (okay, oil lamp), flowers (jasmine) and gourmet food (Kara and vella adai)

And I said

"Urugada Vennaiyum oradaiyum naan tharuven - orukaalum en kanavar ennai piriyadirukkanum"

I offer you (divine) butter and the rice made out of kaara arisi so bless me for my Husband's long life

Ever since I have gotten married, the pooja room has gained a special significance. And every month brings with a festival with deep meaning and relevance.

this particular festival (Nombu) called Karadayan Nombu especially important to married women.

Wearing Madisaar, I lit the Kuthu Valuku (traditional lamp) and tied the sacred thread.

The story goes that Savithri was the daughter of king Aswapathi who ruled Madradesha. She was married to Sathyavan, son of another king, according to her wish. Despite Naradha’s warning that Sathyavan would die within a year of marriage, Savithri married him. But as a devout wife, she started worshipping Goddess Gowri to protect her mangalyam, - that is, to change the fate and give her husband a long life. On the first day of Panguni, the following year, fate snatched away Sathyavan suddenly. When Yama appeared to take away the life of Sathyavan, Savithri did not give up easily. She argued with Yama, and regained the life of her spouse and lived happily ever after.

On this day, two special dishes are made and offered to the Lord. One is a salt savoury signifying Lord Siva and the other one is a sweet signifying Goddess Shakti.(Karadais and vella adais are specially made for the occasion with rice flour,jaggery and Kaaramani - a red coloured dry beans). The adais are then placed on the plantain leaves along with 'Vennai' (butter). Here is my Mother-in-law's recipe!

Kara and vella adai

Karadai

Kara Mani - red coloured beans- 1 cup steamed

salt, soaked rice (half hour), grated coconut

Dry fry till they are rice red colour, cool, powder the rice, season it with mustard, urad dal, chili, coriander leaf, aseofoteda

and boil it with water add grated coconut 1 cup. add overnight soaked Karamani. Add rice flour once it stars boiling, stir for ten minutes and keep aside when it gets a thick upma like texture. steam it in idly stand for 15 minutes

Velladai

jaggery 1 1/2 cup,

equal water

karamani half cup

boil water, pinch cardamom,

grated coconut 1 cup

1 spoon ghee

In boiling water add jaggery, when Jaggery melts add rice powder.stir till it gets a thick upma like texture

Steam both (kara and vella adai) in the cooker for 15-20 mins simultaneously.

The spider, the cobra and the elephant

2010-03-09T22:40:00.011+05:30

Gopurum The of Srikalahasti Temple

Okay, I like totally agree with the fact that I did go into a period of dormancy, a time where no matter how hard I tried, and how many hours I spend (which I must confess that I didn't) I couldn't whip out anything even halfway publishable (I have high standards)

But now I feel this new surge of freshness and energy, and I guess I could be pretty much back in form. But then that can only be judged at the end of this post.

So as much as my Husband Kaushik would like to hear that this renewed freshness is due to his return from Germany, after more than two months......there is more to it.

The reason is our trip to Srikalahasti Temple. Our agenda at the temple was to perform the famous 'Rahu-Ketu' puja to pacify the planets. The temple is situated in a picturesque village about 20 Km from Tirupati.

It is one of the panchabhoota sthalam - representing five basic elements. This is the Vayu Sthalam among the Pancha Bootha Sthalams representing Air. The others are - Tiruvannamalai (Thejo sthalam - Fire) Kanchipuram (Prithvi sthalam - Earth) Tiruvanaikaval (Appu sthalam - Water) Chidambaram (Akasa sthalam - Space).

Legend has it that Lord Shiva disguised as Vayu (Air) observed that The Spider (SRI), Cobra (KALA) and Elephant (HASTI) worshipped Him very devotedly. So Lord Shiva made them to relieve from the curse and attain salvation, hence this place is called Srikalahasti.

We left from Tirupati at 6 am, where Krishna (my brother) joined us from Chennai, and as a cool party of four (including husband and mother in law) we boarded the bus to the temple. The temple seemed to be drenched in a divine energy that was so calming and refreshing. The hot weather was assuaged by the cool interiors of the temple which had more than a hundred pillars.

By the time we left Kalahasti, the sun was blazing so we hurried back to Tirupati wondering why the spider, cobra and the elephant were cursed in the first place.

Kaushik and Krishna at hotel Sarvana Bhavan

Randomly 'Ever after'

2009-12-29T21:18:00.010+05:30

In fairy tales, wedding end with happily ever after.

After my whirlwind wedding where everything from scratch

happened in four m ' onths flat, i have nothing much to say.

they say everything's supposed to change after marriage.

Many things do, and many things dont. But its all for the good.

I suppose, anyway, barely a month into it, I dont think I am

expert enough to comment about it. But then even after 50 years into it

i doubt if I ever will be!

But its interesting.

I though I had it all figured out, getting married has directly resulted

in ruthlessly shattering all my concepts.

In short I really dont have anything to say, so I force meaningless

random sentences to fill in the spaces.

In many ways I have realized that marriage directly cuts out

the meaningless randomness in life that we become so accustomed,

which sometimes is a little tough to digest!

And for a marriage to take place itself, a million random things

have to fall in place.

Than one day, when:

kids star calling you 'Aunty',

you stop worrying about you weight (no wonder women bloat after marriage),

you start believing in weird superstitions,

words like 'saving' and 'planning' enters your vocabulary,

you start taking neighborhood gossip seriously

its starts sinking in that you're actually married.

But I guess at the end of the day, its still a series of random events that weirdly adds up to to 'ever after'!

Four more days...

2009-11-08T22:52:00.003+05:30

And even my name changes!

I guess love does that to you, Something in you dissolves, melts and an unconditional acceptance dawns. I feel scared, sure...

But then I am really not. I feel I am ready to take on new responsibilities, knowing that

some one's there to catch me when I fall, and correct me when I make mistakes.

With four more days too go, there is a frenzy of activity around, the accommodation, the catering, guest lists. I look at it all through the eyes of outsider. knowing that, all these events and activities will melt into time.

As I get married and become ready to step into a world that is alien to me, to nurture instead of being nurtured, to be instead of being...its only natural to be anxious (or so I tell myself to stop myself from passing out of anxiety!!)

Its funny, how during a wedding the focus is on the celebration outside, but inside there is a quiet celebration too, a much more vibrant and lavish one, and one that stands the test of time.

In four more days,

even my name changes....

Rest with feelings

2009-09-23T22:39:00.002+05:30

The Art of Living Ashram is teaming with splendor of Navaratri.

Gurudev broke his silence today, with the message, 'rest with feelings'.

This poem is inspired by him.

In thick of celebrations

all around

from depth of silence

not a sound

the message was loud and clear

rest with feelings my dear

You have come after a struggle

so long so hard

you were broken into pieces

into shards

now its over, I am near

rest with feeling my dear

Wake up to the beauty

all vibrant and fresh

from the illusion of chaos

delusion of mess

perfect as a juicy ripe pear

when you have rested

with feelings my dear

And now the sky's so blue

without a cloud

every thought can be heard out

aloud

dont doubt, all pain ends here

just rest with feelings my dear

Rest with feelings

Life's no longer an

unfulfilled dream

Rest with feelings

as sweet as cherries

as light as cream

A love so deep, cant help

but shed drops of tear

rest in bliss with feelings

my dear.

I'm just surprised.....!

2009-09-13T22:57:00.009+05:30

At the way things have turned out (for the better)

How weird co-incidences turn out to be the best things in your life

How things change in-spite and despite

How everything changes and so will this

How come some people just dont get it!

The best things in life are purely by chance, by luck or by grace.

The fact that I got the best things in life by doing nothing.

How just being there can make all the difference

How some things cannot, will not and would not ever happen...and you know it!

At the fact that walking blindfolded is much easier than with eyes wide open.

That knowing that I dont know is the peak of knowledge.

When thing go wrong....its okay...it really is, it could get worse, and thats okay too.

How taking yourself sincerely not seriously makes all the difference.

How being happy is a decision not an end result.

How the only difference between getting something you always wanted and not getting something you always wanted is the word 'not'.

How taking bigger risks gets bigger results, if it fails, gets bigger learning.

How till the time you're really, totally absolutely clear about what you want to do, you're wasting your time, so if you're wasting time anyway, why not experiment and have fun.

That if you're not having fun, then something is seriously wrong.

Knowing that there is no bigger fun than being and doing right.

Its not surprise really, but a wonder, a sort of awe, at how things are so simple yet so complex. And its nice to be in this perpetual state, it adds a lot of spark to life.

So Hot!

2009-09-03T00:34:00.004+05:30

From everything, the weather to people to food to politics. If you want to be set on fire, AP is the place to head. As a YES!+ teacher this is the first time I am travelling outside to an unknown city, and my destination is Warangal in AP.

After a 13 hour bus journey to Hyderabad, Raghav (another teacher) and I took Konark express to Warangal, about 3 hours away. Luckily it was raining, so I didn't experience the fiery bit right away. My first experience was simply my first meal, with my tongue on fire, and smoke fuming out of my ears. The excessive chili in everything, made it simply impossible for me to even decipher different dishes and tastes.

To neutralise the effect oodles of 'ghee' was added, which helped my tortured taste buds no better. Unfortunately in India, excessive love is equated with excessive food, which if refused, especially as guests is considered excessively rude.

So I endured the fate for three days, after which my mouth is so full of ulcers that, making it torturous to even look or breath in the direction of spices. So now my staple diet consists of Ice-cream and ghee rice, although I am doing my best to make up by doing extra suryanamaskar during the course, the chances are, that I'll have to go on diet as soon as I hit home.

The Art of what?

2009-08-27T01:52:00.007+05:30

Hi all, this is my first attempt at story writing (if you can call that), so be brutal with you feedback, don’t waste comments being polite or diplomatic.

Although the work is purely fictional, its of course inspired by real-life people, situation and events while working with the Art of Living.

I am the absolute last person to do a 'course' on spirituality

I really dont care about saving the planet, its too late anyway

And unless I’m doped or drunk, I don’t usually smile at people

And to tell the truth, I don’t want to change the way I am either.

And if I am to believe in news (which I don't) and media, Guru's don't have the best reputation!

I just like to know certain things and there are times I go a little overboard finding out. Like the time when I suspected my mom was mixing curd, in everything I ate, which I hated a morbid passion, I actually took food samples from home to my lab in 8^th grade to test whether they contained the lactobacilli bacteria.

But before I go into anything to do with Art of Living or Breathing, I needed to find out about the person who was teaching it. And no, I did not hire a PI, with social networking sites, and 6 degrees of separation, almost anyone can turn into a PI. But something, I have no Idea what, makes me insanely curious about knowing more, the same insane curiousness that made me test my home cooked food samples for lactobacilli.

But I am a hard nut to crack, it will take me more than a seven day crash course on spirituality and an irritatingly happy instructor to turn me into one of them ‘save the planet evangelist’ .

So I thought, If not for anything else, I could spend a few hours everyday for a week for a memory of comic relief in future.

The curiosity started the day I met Bindi

I met Bindi on a rainy afternoon, struggling with three over sized bags and a dysfunctional umbrella. I think I know her, I said to myself, and went to help her out with her bags, in a tearing hurry, she handed me her bags and said, “are you going to Bhannerghatta road”, “yes", I said, without thinking, the poor girl needed help anyway.

“Great, then we can take this Big 10, its about to leave. Oh look, there’s even place to sit! I so hate it when it rains in Bangalore, the roads are jammed, and the buses get over crowded.”

I hope she knows she just met me

And it was that fateful bus ride that changed my life. But like I said, this isn’t my story, and for my own reasons I’d like to remain anonymous.

“you want to know a secret?” she asked invitingly

“okay (like I have a choice?)”

“I am a new person right this moment on”

“really (did u get like a sex change operation)?”

“I finally, finally quit my job, to do what I really love to do.”

“and what’s that?”

“Teach people how to breathe and be happy, I teach the Art of Living workshops. Oh my stop is here, I need to go, it was great meeting you, you should really learn to breath", she said, handing over a contact number and disappearing into the crowd.

If someone can look so ridiculously happy after being drenched in rain, and carrying 30 kg weight, there has to be something. Thats when I grudgingly accepted her friend request on Facebook.

And she knew her stuff alright, so it wasn’t easy to be her friend.

a) You had to had to be a vegetarian

b) You had to agree with her most nonsensical, impulsive of ideas

c) You’d have to be okay with phone calls at 3 am, and listen to her business plan

Bindi was a business freak, she’d wanted to be an entrepreneur since the age of eight. At school, she’d sell stuff like Barbie clothing’s she got her maid to make, and wrote poetry for other people and sold them. As she grew older, she wanted to own a juice shop, a dessert shop (sugarfree, eggless, vegan, healthy), a shop that sold gadgets , one that sold jute bags. Her profession as a software engineer was a complete anti climax to who she was as a person. But that’s what set her apart.

This is what she said in the ‘about me’ section of her Facebook profile.

And they say, I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one……..

Right now three things rule my life

The Art of Living courses,

Yes! I teach them, unfortunately it aint one of those plush studios in upmarket areas that rakes in loads of moolah. In fact I teach more as a volunteer, as it totally opposes my ethics of commercializing something that is such an ancient and a beautiful science.

My work, that is the unglamorous part. I work as a software Engineer at one of the biggest software firms in Bangalore, they say if you throw a stone in Bangalore, chances are that you’ll hit an engineer. This is my story. There’s nothing great about my life. I haven’t changed the world (yet), I am certainly not someone famous (again, yet!).

And finally remember watching Captain Planet on cartoon network, when everyone wanted to be engineers and doctors, I wanted to be a Captain Planet, with a band of planeteers, saving the earth. And I guess I can proudly say that this is the closest to being one.

(to be continued)

forever 24

2009-08-23T21:53:00.007+05:30

As a 16 year old I was obsessed with Backstreet boys and Harry Potter, I thought being a cricket commentator was the perfect career choice, and if you were unfortunate enough to be my parent, the most random question would evoke an emphatic 'no'.

The only purpose in my life was how-to-look-cool-in-front-of-people-who-I-thought-were-cool'

And now at 24.....

Everything has changed, the purpose of my life, my obsessions, my likes, dislikes

but something in me hasn't.

That something which was there in me as a naive 16 year old, as a mischievous 12 year old, and as a 24 year old.

Its been almost a week since I turned 24. And I celebrate in silence. No matter what happens, there is something in me that will remain eternal in this ephemeral world.

True freedom

2009-08-06T13:54:00.003+05:30

They say that we gained freedom on 15 Aug 1947, to me its an ongoing quest.

They say that the British never used atomic arsenal on India.Only much worse, that generation after generation of Indians being born in their own soil have a maligned perception of their own land, it persists as though it was a form of a genetic mutation.

We read about Buddha and Ram, but we Idolised Michael Jackson and Madonna. We ate the humble ‘dal-chawal’, but craved for Mc Donalds. If I had a choice between wearing a Salwar-Kameez and Jeans, its obvious what I would choose. One evening while pondering on why I preferred all things ‘western’, I came across the following statement of Lord McCauley in his speech to the British Parliament, to colonise India, on Feb 2,1835

"I have travelled across the length and breadth of India and I have notseen one person who is a beggar, who is a thief. Such wealth I haveseen in this country, such high moral values, people of such calibre,that I do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless webreak the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual andcultural heritage, and, therefore, I propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for if the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than theirown, they will lose their self-esteem, their native self-culture andthey will become what we want them, a truly dominated nation.

The ‘Education system in India’- its one of those ‘cliched’ debate topics that I would get to hear at every debate competition in school. In college the reality of all the debate sunk in, when I first encountered the ‘reservations’, and finally when I got a job, it was reduced to being a mere butt of all jokes. But it never stopped affecting my life, or the lives of all those around me. As an innocent child, I first read about Bhagat Singh, referred as a ‘terrorist nationalist’, and my only knowledge about the ‘Jaliawala Bagh Massacre was a paltry three line mention, where the description mearly said ‘British opened the fire’. I never learned the fact that Pythogores theorem was discovered first in India by a Mathematician called Bodhayanah in 800 BC.Growing up, it was cool to read Enid Blytons and Tintins, and uncool to read ‘Amar Chitra Katha’.So guess what I ended up learning, it was those biased and even delebrate misinterpretation by the westerners to mislead a generations after generations of Indian kids, who grow up feeling inferior to the west. And the results are clear, India has become a truly dominated nation. So much so that an average Indian dreams of crossing the shores to the ‘superior territory’, and no sooner, their inferiority catches up with them with instances of racial discrimination. So much so that we never grow up to be proud Indians. Bringing us back to the ‘Great Western Hangover’, which is solely attributed to our education system. And unfortunately with the Indian government assuming a ‘Socialist democracy’, by frontier Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, a self confessed anglophile himself, a legacy was thus set, where education system has become but a playground for the politicians to roll their dice and create the bane of ‘reservations’, where instead of youth being empowered, are further marginalised.

“Such wealth I have seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such
calibre,that I do not think we would ever conquer this country.”

How I wish the statement would have stopped at that. But the British didn't give up. And I dream of a nation that doesn't give up either. In spite of the challenges we face today, we are changing, slowly but surely. I recently noticed that while shopping I don't look for Jeans anymore, and I skip McDonalds without a second look. The best part is that its not just me. Those ‘Amar Chitra Kathas’, are selling out in book stores, and Indian who went abroad are coming back to find the green pastures, right here at home. Great Western Hangover still exists, affecting many lives, if only we could break out of the shackles of our education system, and let the spirit of true Indian nationalism shine forth. And for that we might need another freedom movement. A spritual freedom movement.

Without you where will I be?

2009-07-07T16:56:00.002+05:30

I have been a little bogged down for while, have been a victim of opposites in life. Its not as though its the first time I’ve come here. But it definitely feels like the first time every time. I know for sure, what's right and what's not. But that doesn't help me when my mind’s clouded.

Today is Gurupoornima, and instead of a sophisticated explanation on the significance of a guru in one’s life, I decided to write something personal, hope it makes sense!

So my mind’s so clouded that every shred of my awareness and integrity goes for a toss.

I decide to go sugarless, and the next moment I am ready to sell my soul for a DBC (Death by chocolate).

I decide to wake up early, next thing I know I wake up two hours later than usual.

I decide to meditate for an two hours everyday, and I struggle to squeeze in 20 minutes of ‘me time’.

Then something magical happens.

I close my eyes, and look back at the past five years and things have definitely changed for the better. In spite of my doubts, fears and all the obstacles.

I close my eyes and just breathe, and feel that presence that taken care of me, very dearly, all this while.

I close my eyes, all my discomfort vanishes into thin air, and a smile appears, and the opposites in life disappears.

And I know for sure, I am not lost in the opposites of life.

Animals and Ayurveda

2009-06-23T13:08:00.004+05:30

I wanted to post about Ayurveda for a long time, so I decided that since the topic is so large, I'll post it in series. I always thought that Ayurveda was about alternate medicine and healing. But to my surprise, Ayurveda is a way of life. Allopathic medicine provides cure for diseases, while Ayurveda tell us how not to get those diseases in the first place. And food is categorised in three catagories, Satvic, Rajsic and Tamsic. I stumbled across this piece on the net and thought that it aptly described the 'Three gunas'.

The Elephant, The Tiger, and The Jackal

"You are what you eat." Ancient Indian texts explain Aahara, or diet, by using the example of the elephant, the tiger, and the jackal. The elephant is a vegetarian. This animal represents the sattvic mind. With Sattva, we can think clearly, and act appropriately, according to the laws of nature. The elephant is strong, gentle and intelligent. The tiger is carnivorous. He represents the rajassic mind, which is action-oriented. He kills and eats animals, which makes him fierce and aggressive. The tiger is restless, always on the prowl. The jackal represents the tamasic mind. Tamas is destructive, but this is not necessarily negative. We need to finish something, complete it, before we can move on to the next. The jackal survives by eating food left uneaten by other animals. He is fearful, cunning, and lazy. Our goal is to acquire the saatvic qualities of the elephant. One way we can do that is to favor a vegetarian diet, and eating fresh foods, beans, and almonds to to increase calmness, clarity and creativity.

*source- CoffeyTalk.com

And you can see the effect of these foods on you body and mind. So judging by the predominant activity you do, its good to eat the corresponding 'Aahara', just even the knowledge of these aspects helps us be more conscious of what we are putting into our body. And its also good to observe which of the 'Three guns' are predominant in us, and you will be surprised that its exactly the kind of food we eat, though not always, that in fact also depends on our individual 'Prakruti' and 'Dosha'. I'll save that for the next post.

Two of a kind

2009-06-20T16:32:00.008+05:30

Living with roomates is like having the best of both worlds. You get the care and concern of a parent with delicious home cooked meals. Also no unnecessary nagging inflicted on you as though you were an eternal teenager. And I for one have been very lucky to have two brilliant girls staying with me.

Karpagavalli

If you want to do a crash course on south Indian culture, just step into my house, most likely you’ll be welcomed with a strong aroma of ‘Rasam’, that's been prepared by KK or Karpagavalli. An engineer and YES!+ teacher.

And don't be surprised to find an equally beautiful girl, sporting a gigantic tattoo, working on her macbook. that's Priya, an advertising professional.

Both teach YES!+ workshops, both stunningly beautiful Tamilian Iyers (in fact I share those traits in common trait, especially the beautiful part) and that's where the similarities end.

One cooks, the other eats. One is a fashion diva, the other rooted in traditiona. One the epitome of enthusiasm and zest for life, other, the personification of ethereal calmness. One totally into chic flicks, other, Sci-fi freak (she watched hard core Sci-fi three nights in a row)

Tattooed: Priya Mani

Opposite values are complementary and this is a real, live, practical example.

Now that I’ve created enough curiosity, I’ll leave the rest for you to discover. An easy way will be doing the YES!+ workshop that they teach at Koramangala one from 25th to 1st july, 5-9 pm @ Indian Heritage Academy.

Warning: The above text was NOT written for matrimonial purposes. Please do NOT start spamming my inbox with those intentions (even otherwise spamming is bad!).

Thayir Sadam

2009-06-10T18:19:00.005+05:30

Note: this post is dedicated to my brother in the dire hope that he is graced with the ability appriciate finer things in life (meaning, he unfortunatly does not like Thayir Sadam, although he lives in Tamil Nadu)

On a hot evening, after a long day’s work, I get back home. First thing I do is scout my refrigerator for ‘something to eat’. And today, there’s nothing but a packet of curd, probably gone sour, some curry leaves on the verge of fossilising and a half cut pomegranate looking more like tiny blood shot eyeballs.Its hot and I’ve had a long day. And I need dinner.

Its one of those unfortunate days when KK’s (my room mate and a brilliant cook) gone outstation, and I haven't eaten while out on an assignment (that's how I manage dinner). Back to reality. I need ‘something to eat’. My first impulse is to walk down to ‘Raghavendra Upahar’, and pack an Idly vada, which costs 20 bucks. But the very idea of facing that mind-numbing traffic, which took me an hour to get out of today is alarming. My second impulse, ‘order a pizza’, then I remember, how much I’ve been eating out lately resulting in a bowel activities incurable by a dozen Triphala tablets.

I take another peek into the fridge, hoping that out of a miracle, my Mom’s Sambar-Sadam and Thayir-Sadam (Sambar rice, curd rice) would materialise. Tough luck! I guess its a sign that I need to fast. My mind, body and senses protest violently. And I resign to my fate. I need to cook something. What! I mean what if get food poisoning, what if I set the house on fire, ....I don't cook, I taste people’s cooking and write what went wrong with it.

I take another peek into my fridge, and empty out the contents, and am hit with a sudden epiphany. Thayir Sadam....there’s curd, I have finally mastered the art of making rice in a cooker without it exploding, and there are these pomegranate seeds. The ingredients are perfect. So the next fifteen minutes I busy myself. The rice is cooked. The tadka is ready, so is the garnish. I mix it all with rice and add the curd finally. And Viola! I am struck by an overwhelming aroma of Thayir Sadam, bringing back all the nostalgic memories of a dish that is more of a Tamil legacy. I don't remember a time when it wasn't a part of my meal. My grand mom would use the leftover rice, and add curd, making a quick snack before the next meal. I grew up in mostly in northern parts of the country, where the concept of curd rice was non-existent, I clung to this part of my Tamil identity. Thayir Sadam with Urga (pickle) or Vathaikozambu beats the world’s most exotic and gastronomic delicacies.

I take another peek into the fridge...and this time its really a miracle. In a beautiful glass dish is the sacred ‘Thayir Sadam’. As I remove it out with utmost care, the soundtrack of ‘Chariots of fire’ plays in my mind. And I know that today will go down the history as the first time I made ‘Thayir-Sadam’. I am so super impressed, maybe I could open a Thyir Sadam exclusive restaurant. We could have flavours of Thayir Sadam, pineapple, strawberry, grapes. Abhishek and Ash would visit the restaurant, and my interview would be flashed on TV as breaking news .....whoa wait!

Right now this moment is what counts. Me, My Thayir Sadam and nothing else.

Thayir Sadam Recipe

Ingredients
Rice

Fresh curd

Asafoetida

Green chilies

Coriander leaves Salt

Ingredients for seasoning

Mustard seeds Curry leaves
seeded pomegranate/ grapes

Method of Preparing Thayir Sadam
Rice is sieved, washed and boiled. Later it is cooled and mashed. In the mashed rice, milk is added and kept aside. A cooking pan is taken and white oil is heated in it. Then mustard seeds are crackled in it with curry leaves. It is tossed in oil until light golden in color. Then chopped green chilies are added. Then mix rice with curd along with asafetida and add salt to taste. Finally mix the seeded pomegranate/ grapes and garnish with coriander leaves.

March against media

2009-06-03T17:51:00.007+05:30

Its was an event by the YES!+

March 1st 2009 was a historic day for youth of our nation. Where The March was organised

In Delhi, as more than 10,000 youth marched on Parliament street to stand up against corruption and terrorism along with likes of Prahalad Kakkar and Kiran Bedi supporting the cause.

One would imagine that such a news would be covered by all major media, its BIG news for sure. Well all major media like NDTV, CNN-IBN, TOI etc were present, and surprise surprise, none of the big channels and print names reported one word of it.

‘The March’ also happened just before the elections, and reporting such an event would definitely be a slap on the face for the government, which unfortunately got re-elected. A few days back I stumbled upon this interesting forward, which I suspected had some truth in it, especially after having a first and experience working with TOI.

* NOTE: the contents of the below article are of questionable origin, it may not fully true, it is used purely for the purpose of illustrating a point.

Who owns the media in India ?
Let us see the ownership of different media agencies.
NDTV: A very popular TV news media is funded by Gospels of Charity in Spain Supports Communism. Recently it has developed a soft corner towards Pakistan because Pakistan President has allowed only this channel to be aired in Pakistan . Indian CEO Prannoy Roy is co-brother of Prakash Karat, General Secretary of the Communist party of India . His wife and Brinda Karat are sisters.
India Today: which used to be the only national weekly which supported BJP is now bought by NDTV!! Since then the tone has changed drastically and turned into Hindu bashing.
CNN-IBN: This is 100 percent funded by Southern Baptist Church with its branches in all over the world with HQ in US.. The Church annually allocates $800 million for promotion of its channel. Its Indian head is Rajdeep Sardesai and his wife Sagarika Ghosh.
Times group list: Times Of India, Mid-Day, Nav-Bharth Times, Stardust, Femina, Vijay Times, Vijaya Karnataka, Times now (24- hour news channel) and many more...
Times Group is owned by Bennett & Coleman. 'World Christian Council¢ does 80 percent of the Funding, and an Englishman and an Italian equally share balance 20 percent. The Italian Robertio Mindo is a close relative of Sonia Gandhi.
Star TV: It is run by an Australian, who is supported by St. Peters Pontifical Church Melbourne.
Hindustan Times: Owned by Birla Group, but hands have changed since Shobana Bhartiya took over. Presently it is working in Collaboration with Times Group.
The Hindu: English daily, started over 125 years has been recently taken over by Joshua Society, Berne , Switzerland .. N. Ram's wife is a Swiss national.
Indian Express: Divided into two groups. The Indian Express and new Indian Express (southern edition) ACTS Christian Ministries have major stake in the Indian Express and latter is still with the Indian counterpart.
The Statesman: It is controlled by Communist Party of India.
Asian Age and Deccan Chronicle: Is owned by a Saudi Arabian Company with its chief Editor M.J. Akbar.

Looks like we have a huge task ahead to reform our media.

Ephemeral Flower

2009-05-30T16:06:00.008+05:30

Dear all,

As you can see, my blog has undergone a total makeover, its the same old me, just a new look.

I think all of us need to infuse some newness in life every once in a while, just like nature does, its ancient, but evergreen, ever vibrant and ever fresh. I hope to do the same with my writing, consequently have it trickling down in life as well, with an experience of a new life with every breadth, and in this case, with every word I type and every click.

Yours comments, criticism and feedback mean a lot to me. So keep them coming. Also tell me what you'd like to read and what you'd not.

Lots of love

Ephemeral Flower

Baby Eaglet

2009-05-27T17:26:00.008+05:30

I posted this on my blog about two years ago, and its always been one of my favourites. I have always loved animals and birds, and this is one of my rare posts on them.

Black eyes with grey pupils, occasional blinking would reveal silvery eyelids.... it lay there, crouched, helpless, and frightened to death. After all the initial commotion and hushed 'oohs' and 'aahs', it lay forgotten, battered and unattended.
I wondered what all the noise was about as I climbed up the stairs of my hostel, and I saw instantly a sight that was hard to miss .
Because it was the most beautiful and heartbreaking sight. A magnificent eagle, lay at the corner of the balcony, for a moment I, froze and felt as helpless as the eagle.
"Ooh what happened"...Rims was as awestruck as I, we just stood and gasped at the sight. What do we do? What do we do? After a flurry of phone calls, finally Harsha comes from PFA(people for animals). By this time, we were fast friends with the eagle, Rims was playing Radio Mirchi songs to him, and we were in the process of baptising our friend.
"Its so clichéd",...said rims sounding disgusted, and wouldn't let me name him Angel.
Harsha spread his beautiful wings, and I was scared,
" he’s not had water for a couple of days, so has fainted of dehydration, he’s barely 20 days old"
"Ooh a baby eaglet!
"A baby eaglet...there's no such thing as baby eaglet".
We fed him water, and he was up in minutes. "Can he fly"
"sure, in about a month"!
"That long"?
"Yeah, coz it cant hunt yet"
"so its really a baby eaglet"
"i said there aint nothing known as......"
"Where are you going to take him?"
"Animal hospital"
"can we come visit him"
"we have about fifty birds, you wont recognise him"
Harsh then put eaglet in a shoe box...and I made one last desperate attempt ."Can I carry him"
"uh, no thanks".... and he was gone,
We named him Eaglet (and that’s not clichéd?)
Phone rings an hour later saying he's in the ICU and will be fine. Somehow the image of Eaglet in ICU on the ventilator and nurses fussing over him cracks me up. "You can visit Saturday’s and Sundays", which cracks me up further.
I don’t think I’ll visit him, One day when I look up at the sky, I wouldn’t be surprised to see my Angel...er...Eaglet soaring high watching over me. And who says I wont recognise him.

Beyond words

2009-05-22T17:43:00.006+05:30

Here's the problem I face. I write for a living, and when this is all you do, day after day, any extra writing, starts feeling like a pain. In circumstances such as these I have realised one thing that makes every piece of writing memorable. The integrity in it. Writing for a newspaper, I pretty much don't have a choice on what to write. And over a period of time, writing starts feeling artificial, as if they are just a lifeless string of words, meant to be forgotten in a nano second. But writing can be alive, it can be vibrant, and it captures in them, the very essence of who you are.

So the best pieces of writing reflect your image like a mirror. By ‘your’ I don't mean the writes’s but every person who reads that it. The words start becoming a part of you, as though it was echoing your own thoughts. And for the writer, its a spiritual experience, like art, it manifests itself out of thin air and acquires a personality of its own. Then you read back your own words and go ‘I cant believe I wrote that!’.

But when you write for a living, these moments are so rare, that you almost fight for it...and then when you let go, it magically reappears. As vibrant, as alive as ever. Waiting to be written. In such times there is really no difference between the writer and the pen or keyboard in this case, as both are mere instruments, that allow higher experiences and knowledge to flow though them. In fact there is really no difference between the writer, the pen, the words and the reader.

Its not a problem anymore, so what if I write for a living, so what if i do this day after day. So what! Its all the same anyway. The writer, the pen, the words and the reader.

And as a writer its not what I write that counts. But the experience in itself. I don't write 'for a living', but I write 'living'.

Saluting the sun

2009-05-08T15:47:00.009+05:30

I woke up with bright sunshine hitting my face, The first thing I do, is Surya namaskars. 20 minutes later, I lie down in shavasan, relishing the execise with every pore of my being. I recall how I grew to love these set of asanas, so much so, that I teach it to youth at the Art of living YES!+ workshop.

My first experience of Surya namaskars was when I did the Art of Living course as an 18 year old. Back then yoga sounded like an utterly outlandish concept, where people twisted themselves into weird positions, and then don’t know that to do.

But doing Surya namaskar was fun, as it was more like an exotic choreography. And surprisingly after 15 rounds in 10 minutes I felt amazingly exercised and energised. Its a set of these 12 yogasanas, that give complete exercise to you mind, body and spirit. Not only is it a great way to be in shape, but it gives complete rest to your body. Doing Surya namaskars's fast rounds makes you shed extra flab, and doing it slowly is very meditative and increases your stamina.The best part about it is that you do these asanas in co-ordination with your breadth, which very rejuvenating. It is best done facing the east in the morning and west in the evening, preferably with a light stomach and before the practice of pranayam and meditation.

There is a story that says that before the battle of Mahabharatha, the Pandava army along with Krishna used to practice 108 Surya namaskars before going for battle for courage and stamina.It is also said that Krishna is the 'Padmanabha', means, whose navel is the size of a lotus, in the navel resides the 'Solar plexus', which is a size of a pea in a human body, with regular practice of Surya namaskar, the pea can grow into the size of a lotus. The Solar plexus strengthens the intuition or 'the gut feeling' in a human being.

20 minutes of Yoga, about 30 rounds, at 6:30 am (not being a morning person at all, its the earliest I can manage, earlier than this and I'm sleep walking) when nature is in complete harmony, its a brilliant time to do Surya namaskars. For me its more like getting in tune with the nature, which carries forward for the rest of the day, keeping me calm and centred.
No doubts about it, its my mantra to keep super fit and super cool.

What made news

2009-05-04T16:09:00.010+05:30

Have been inhumanly busy past one month, but have been dying to post about so many things. So I have compiled a list of things I loved, I might blog about them in detail sometime, but in the meanwhile, please check out the following on youtube/wiki/google etc. And plz post your comments/feedback on what you like, and maybe on my next post I can feature the best ones.

Summer
Mangoes: That's what I love about summers, like Bawa says, “All fruits are god’s experiments to make mango gone wrong

Sugarcane juice and tender coconut (both happen to be sugar less)

Elections

BJP, Advani, thumbs up, commis, congs, third fronts especially Mayawati thumbs down, huge threat of mass migration abroad looms if Mayawati wins

Theatre
Bikhre Bimb, Doordarshan meets Alfred Hitchcock. Worth a watch.

Places
Bangalore: Is the metro rail project ever gonna end? are we gonna be alive to see the day when its finally built?
Hyderabad: Hot
Chennai: Hot and sweaty (worse!)

Food

Ragoo’s at KR road, the epitome of delicious veg continental food.

Music

Madagascar: “I like to move it, move it” (though its a lil old now)

Documentary
What the bleep do u know, watched it again, made an amazing lot of sense this time.

Geek stuff
Dear Macbook, Why do u have to start peeling off. Is this Apple’s commercial strategy to force people buy the macbook warranty pac costing 300$.
ipod: Is there an easy way to convert stuff into itunes format?

(fine, I admit it, I mentioned ipod only so that I could put this pic!)
Fashion

Naomi Campbell at India Fashion week wearing Saree. It takes a foreigner to tell Indians, “hello people, its fashionable to wear your culture.”

Books
Eragon: Does anyone know when the fourth inheritance book is gonna be out?
Twilight: Yet to read the fourth sequel, like the first two books, Twilight and New Moon, Eclipse was a washout, might as well finish reading the series with Breaking Dawn.

(P S: Movie sucks!)

Ponniyin Selvan: First flood, must read Tamil lit by Kalki (you get English translation too)

Google

SEKEM

Emoto Masaru- Messages from Water

My articles

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/Mar232009/metromon20090322125661.asp

http://www.deccanherald.com/Content/Apr212009/metro-tue20090420131356.asp

Thats enough for now, enjoy maadi!

Dreams come true

2009-04-22T15:45:00.009+05:30

Alladin and the magic lamp.

I always loved Genies...it began with Alladin. Then came the classic ‘I dream of Jennie’, an English soap opera dubbed in Hindi, where a NASA space scientist stumbles into a blond Genie, and falls in love with her. Then came Christina Aguilera's ‘Genie in a bottle’...which almost qualified as a teen pop anthem in 1999.

But nothing beat ‘Alladin’, and the song ‘A whole new world’. I remember, buying Alladin stickers as a 10 year old and sticking it all over mom’s new almirah, and she spent hours cleaning it later. It was one of my favourite movies till date, and I spoiled the music tape, by playing it a million times, till I could sing all the songs backwards.

At some point or the other we’ve all been Genies to someone, and it occurred to me that Genies always seem to have more fun, even though they have restricted freedom. A Genie never wants anything for himself/herself, and never runs behind treasures, but still serves unconditionally.

And a Genie is crazy, unpredictable, funny apart from being everyone’s dream come true. So more than having a Genie, its pretty awesome to be one. Its not always easy, but worth it. Check out the song and especially the lyrics.

Here are the lyrics of 'A whole new world', do catch its video on Youtube

I can show you the world Shining, shimmering, splendid

Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride
A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming
A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky
A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you
A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

Chini kum... a sugar free life

2009-03-26T18:14:00.008+05:30

"Sugar is without question the number one murderer in the history of
humanity — much lethal than opium or radioactive fallout..." Putting' it
bluntly, the human body cannot handle man-refined sucrose erroneously called
sugar"- Japanese natural healer, Sakurazawa

With a lot of enthusiasm and determination, I had decided to give up sugar and white flour (maida). It felt great, coz discipline is not one of my biggest virtue, especially when it comes to my food habits. It all started one evening when I asked Bawa, “what do I do if I feel sleepy and lethargic even after proper 6 -8 hours sleep. “look at your diet, and cut out white sugar and maida” he said simply. So my Inspiration came from Bawa, who even bakes delicious cakes and other desserts sugar free, so giving up wasn't so tough.

I even flaunted my sugar free status on twitter, gtalk and face book, and drew quiet a bit of attention.

And then for a couple of day by some weird quirk of fate, the choicest of the gourmet sugar loaded delicacies were offered to me. Blueberry cheese cake, hot chocolate fudge, strawberry with whipped cream, jalebi.....it was okay till then,

but for the past 24 hours, there was mysore pak, soft drinks, tomato ketchup !!!!

stuff which I wouldn't touch normally suddenly felt like a life saving drug!

And then all those Cafe coffee days, Baristas and cake shops that I wouldn't look at twice, seemed to pop out with all its vividness while everything else including traffic blurred into the background.

The worst was, every single item on their window seemed to have sprouted an ‘eat me’ sign.

“its alright to just have one ‘strawberry-kiwi’ smoothie, who knows I might even get enlightened”.

“what if I was starving, wouldn't one bite of a back forest pastry save my life”

And then comes the worst bit, people started bombarding me with dabba after dabba of Ugadi sweets.

“Well, I can go sugarless after Ugadi, I cant go hurting people’s sentiments by not accepting their ‘sweet gestures’ ?”

Wait that’s not the worst bit, the worst bit is people acting as if you are terminally ill.

“Are u diabetic?”,

“What's wrong with you?”, or the less extreme

"Are you on a diet?"
"do u wanna loose weight?"

Then I think about why I am leading a diabetic life? and I get my answers alright!
read this - http://daghettotymz.com/current/whitesugar2/whitesugar2.html,

Q & A
Dear Bau, I have been off sugar since yesterday, and you're right, I
feel much better (less tired). I am giving it up for good, but everything from pani puri to tomato ketchup these days contains sugar. Can you please give me some tips to help me stick to this.
Answer: Once u get off it, you will realise that there are many alternatives available steer clear of all the chemical sweeteners, they are worse. Jaggery, honey, maple syrup are fantastic alternatives and in a bit you will get used to their taste. After 3 months try eating a normal sugar thing and it will leave u disgusted.

Most importantly, I feel great, though my taste buds sometimes violently protest.

But if it leaves me stronger, healthier and improve my lifestyle which I know it will, its all for the good. And oh I also saved quiet a bit of money not eating junk which I can (and i did) unashamedly spend on shopping.

The curious case of Krishna Kalyan

2009-03-03T15:28:00.009+05:30

Today’s the day I feel weirdly nostalgic about! Its Krishna’s (my brother’s) birthday. If he was around, we would have gone out to eat at some ridiculously expensive restaurant, and he would have demanded a ridiculously expensive gift (like a macbook pro).But since I am saving so much money, I decided to dedicate this post to him.

When he was born and I was about three, I remember being wildly angry at my parents and kicked, screamed and demanded them to go right back to the hospital, and leave him there.But since then, I’ve grown quiet affable to his presence (OMG I’ve endured 20 years of torture, no wonder our family turned spiritual).

Though we fought like cats and dogs, and I’d always outwit and outdo him at any combat. That is until 14, when gods suddenly decided to grace him with height, and he started resembling a bean pole overnight, and I knew that I was physically (rather vertically) challenged to fight our brutal wars. As a kid he was a FAT baby, and he would hardly talk, little did we know that the seeds of a master arguementator was being sown, and now with his words, he can baffle the most accomplished of word smith (even dad).

He loves speaking about himself, My earliest memories of krishna talking about himself in past tense when he was two years old, saying “ Jab main one dena half ka than na..(when I was one-dena half...).” And he would say that till he was 5.

At 6, I did something that he would never forgive me of, I poured half a bottle of vinegar (very smelly) on his head, and he smelt of vinegar for one week!This started the onslaught of our fragrance wars. Our dad had gone in a ship and brought these two horrid human repellent Jasmine perfume for our mom. And we caught hold of these and used it as our arsenal. One threat of using these would stop the most intense fight. But there were times when we did use it, and then we’d have to open all windows and switch on all the fans and only then could we breathe.

He started displaying leadership qualities at mere 9 years, when he became the youngest leader of a gang comprising 12 and 13 year olds (no proof, strictly his claims, citation needed). And finally at 15 he transformed into human magically after doing YES course with Shreya Didi. Read here about it. And then well, we all lived happily ever after.

That's it. Happy Birthday bro. When (and if) you are really famous one day, I promise to be your official biographer, and we will make millions and become really rich.

Drenched in Kollam

2009-03-02T18:15:00.007+05:30

Pic Credit: Srikanth

Things haven't been easy since the first moment I’d decided to go to Kollam. But I knew with some quirk of fate (called grace) I would land up. It was exactly one year ago that I saw Mahashivratri in Surat on TV and decided, that no matter I wanted to be there next year.

So after a lot of external conflicts (Boss, parents, missing train and a bus to Kollam) a few internal conflicts (when I missed the train), we finally landed in Kollam after a bumpy 14 hour bus ride in the end corner seat, turning all my insides into marshmallow. I’d already been feeling unwell for the past week, and could predict myself getting worse, so I thought, If i’m gonna get sick and take leave anyway, I might as well get sick in Kollam.

The first thing I hear as I reach the grounds is Gurudev’s voice taking Mahakriya, and it was then that it finally sunk in! I was finally finally finally here!
During the course of the day we went to the beach, and by evening we got ready and finally made it to the venue for the finale.
The blazing sun had finally shown signs of setting in, and as the twilight rays scattered the sky, it felt as if the whole environment was Drenched in a sacrosanct energy. There was a ramp that was constructed that was almost half a kilometre long, and nine feet high, where Gurudev could walk amidst the squealing public. There were satsangs, dance performances and even a powerpoint presentation, but most were oblivious of it, slipping into meditation before event the vibrant chanting began.

The next thing I know is that everyone around me standing on the chairs to get a glimpse of Gurudev walking on the ramp, in utter love and bliss. I have seen Guruji so many times, in so many satsangs over the past five years, but seeing him in this form, was like seeing him for the first time, like seeing pure unadulterated, uncensored divinity, that can knock out anything that has even an iota of life.

Then it was over in a blink of an eye, and here I am back at my office desk, typing out my experience in the hope of reliving even one moment of that.

And not for the first time, I realise how inadequate words can be when it comes to narrating some experiences.

My best friends wedding

2009-02-23T16:26:00.012+05:30

For once I actually thank the Indian railways for delaying the Kurla-Coimbatore, I was almost 25 Kms away from the station, somewhere in Kanakapura, when Goli called me to give the good news. "The train is one hour late".

So we reached Coimbatore 6 am, checked into our hotel, after some suryanamaskar and meditation, we ventured to the city. The wedding function wasn't until evening.

Thanks to Goli and his adventurous spirit, we visited (climbed up) the Murugha Malay temple, and then had lunch in one of the popular 'Annapurna' chain of restaurant.At last I stood at the wedding venue, in Ree's room where she was getting ready for the wedding.

I myself had properly preened for the wedding spending close to 3 hours in the salon (and a bill to match it). "I'm fighting with Prasanna", she said with a mischievous glint.

Here I was, looking at the girl, my best friend, who I've seen growing up, from that weird Bong Mumbai snoot, to a child like Tamilian Iyengar mami.

And the transformation was unbelievable. A part of me wanted to scream, "this is totally child marriage, and that's illegal", and another part of me stood in awe, at Ree's sudden maturity which was alien to me. This was certainly not impulse queen I'd known. This was a woman ready to start a family.

My throat chocked as I saw her carrying the maadu saree, with such a grace, that even I as a Tamilian probably couldn't.

Reema in Maadu Saree

The wedding ceremony took place in proper traditional Iyengar style with unjaal (swing) and Kashi yatra, and Ree even sported a cute aandal kondai, and it was so touching to see her entire family following the instructions with an innocence of a child. And Coimbatore provided a perfect setting for it.

At the photo shoot

We left from the wedding next afternoon, after a hearty elay pota shaphad (banana leaf meal) with mixed feelings.

Having grown up all over India, mostly in north, it would be an understatement if I said I have not always appreciated my culture. But In Ree's wedding when I saw a family who were complete outsiders, embracing the culture, probably even better than their own, I felt quiet unnerved. And here I was, barely able to make a proper conversation in my own mother tongue.

Pruth and me

I really did not know about Tamil movies, or literature, and certainly did not know how to read or write Tamil. It strikes me, that its not that 'I don't know', its was 'I don't care'.

But I've decided to change that.

Life is all about deepening roots and broadening your vision and here is one of my active attempts.

Pic credits: Goli , Avinash and Vikrant (Reema's brother)

Being centered

2009-02-20T18:22:00.005+05:30

I am going through one of those 'god-why-do-I-exist' phases again! Imagine a day like this
I wake up late (already a bad sign), take an auto to office,
then I realise I forgot my
wallet at home. Thankfully the auto guy is nice enough to accept the fare next day, so takes my phone number.
Get to work. Make stupid mistakes, and was threatened to get fired 3 times. Finally I get chucked out of making the pages (I work for a newspaper). And at this point I just observe how I feel. Things going wrong is not really big deal for me, by now, I am a self confessed expert at it. But then inevitably I always go into 'this-always-happens-to-me', or 'everyone's-here-to-give-me-a-hard-time' mode.
But today, as my boss screamed on top of her voice so that the whole office could hear how badly I screwed up, I could just detach myself and watch what was happening and just smile (internally).
And a strange calmness enveloped me. And then I felt just empty, blank.

And then a realisation of how impermanent each situation is hits me. And how empty they feel as they fade away in the magnitude of time. And every time I get back to this emptiness, I get in touch with truth. As I walk back from work to home, in the busy MG road every single day, I feel, I am at the centre, and events, happenings, emotions..are all revolving around me. While I remain rooted, untouched yet ephemeral.

Tender lovin care

2009-02-14T14:44:00.006+05:30

The shop and restaurant windows are full of pink and red heart shaped balloons, the Brigade road it is swarming with couple holding hands.
On one hand we have Muthalik's army, Ram sena, crusading against a cause that is so a non-issue, and on the other hand we have these people (those against Ram sena) making an issue out a non-issue of a non-issue. The amount of debate that this has sparked off in Bangalore, is ridicules. I mean doesn't nation of 1.5 billion have better things to talk about. If couples want to hold hands, let them, and if Muthalik has made some retarded proclamations, let him. Seriously we have better things to worry about. Like:

1) Global warming- Apart from the fact that it has been reduced into a glamorous word in the vocabulary of beauty pageant contestants, It is a REAL PROBLEM. And oh we didn't do much, by being a Non Vegetarian, we only contribute towards 27% of global warming.

2) National Security- Right around the time last year when the media warped up the inconsequential 'Arushi murder case', India was invaded by China three times!

3)Naxalism-is the single biggest challenge that India faces in the next decade. The communist rule is weakening India internally by funding naxalites, and externally through maoist attacks from across the borders. In poor villages in India, especially the UP-north east belt, the naxalism is so rampant, that children of impoverished villages aspire to be naxalites in order to combat extreme poverty.

4)Politics- Our country is being run by a bunch of senile freaks, who still follow the legacy left by British- divide and rule in order to win vote banks. How can you blame them, the young educated population of India, is too busy to vote (myself included) but not to busy to complain.

5)Education system-Its about time we read 'real history' of India in our text-books, rather than suppressing our true history, where stuff like Jaliawala Bagh murder just gets a two line mention.

6) Terrorism- The basic intolerance for other religious and cultural ideologies, and this could include something as stupid as the Ram sena attacks. In the name of preservation of cultural heritage, gross violation of human rights and human values are being committed.

So its my sincere request for the youth of this nation to get into some action. Our country, our world, our environment is crying out for some love and affection. And if we focus our energies there instead of retarded (non)issues created by sensationalist media (I know I am a part of it),
This Blog has been inspired by Bawa's blog, on how, its out Nation that needs utmost TLC.
Here are some of the ways to get started

Attend the YES!+ workshop (contact me for details)
Register at http://www.jaagore.com/, to Vote
Read up on real Indian history on Francios's website
Become a vegetarian (no arguments, just do your research)

Now that's not a bad start, if you've checked the above on your to do list, its time to get others on the bandwagon. Else trust me, you'll be stuck behind a seedy screen your whole life, with your only significant contribution after reading this blog being increasing the traffic rate on google.

Why I did not post for so long

2009-02-03T15:28:00.005+05:30

I know its been ages....and its about time I do the official sri ganesh of posting my first blog this year. Here are some of the significant events, that kept me too busy to blog the past month

1. Krishna's (my brother) visit , twice to the city, and he is now a proud owner of an ipod 160GB classic

2.My first YES!+ course in Bangalore Indira Nagar (will upload pics soon)

3. Interviewed : Emraan Hashmi, Neha Dhupia, and a couple of other's you wouldnt recognise

4. Attended my college alumni meet (and gave a brilliant speech) and was

5. Called as guest faculty to teach feature writing at SSCMS, and gave my first lecture.

6. Road trip from Coimbatore to Bangalore via Ooty and Bandipur national reserve with Avinash and Sadie, where we spotted Elephants, Deers and Peacocks.

7. And lastly and most significantly went for Reema's wedding yesterday. Got really senti..Its weird to see you best friend getting married, acting all grown up and propah!

Is my life happening or what! but that does not excuse me from going absconding from my own blog. All of the above events deserve an individual post dedicated to them. And that's what I intend to do in the coming days, which just seem to get busier

1. YES!+ course in Koramangala, Indian Heritage centre, 12th- 18th feb

2. Guitar lessons with Sahil

3. Lectures as guest faculty twice a week

4. Mahashivratri on 23rd Feb at kollam with Guruji.

I cant bear to go on anymore, seem like I'm on a verge of a panic attack. Why cant a day have more than 24 hours!

Moving on

2008-12-28T15:31:00.002+05:30

Moved into a new house at JP nagar second phase,

And it still hasn't sunk in that i'm here for good. A part of me still feels like i'm on an

extended holiday, and will go back to Hyderabad.

This new house, the new job...all feels pretty unreal to me.

Walking the talk, being a journalist

2008-12-20T14:13:00.005+05:30

Its been 5 days since i’ve Joined Deccan Herald, and am still reeling in a bit of culture shock.
Coming from TOI, which is more of a corporate setup rather than a newsroom, this place had overwhelmed me!

I mean the place even smells like old newspapers (not that I am complaining)

The first thing I noticed here are the people. I mean we could easily have a fancy dress competition for the most authentic journalist look. We have 3 Barkha Dutt lookalikes, one Sagarika Ghosh, two Sreenivasan Jains. It looks like they go through great lengths to painfully ‘create’ the journo look. I mean, how tacky! the signature jhola, jute earring (a la barkha dutt)if you look carefully enough, you’ll find that even the expressions on their faces match.
I mean its quiet amusing, the guys, uh....I think there is an unwritten rule that all men journalist have to be below 5’7 to qualify for the job, unfortunate for me (I happen to be 5'7) . There are always exceptions though.

Press conferences: The press kit and press lunch....the first PC I attended in Blore, I got a coffee maker for just having to write 150 words, and not to mention the brilliant lunch at Leela palace.

And I kinda enjoy the way PR guys suck up to journalists, and then we can act all hoity toity for having the talent of putting sensible sentences together (believe me, 90% of the population can't)

What I love about Bangalore is that it's so happening! I do more assignments and stories in a day than I used to do in a week!

In the beginning I sorely missed my private cubicle at TOI, then I realised that there is so much to do, that I don't need a private cubicle to stop getting caught taking a nap.

And oh, I love the 3 o'clock tea and snacks cart that comes in proper airlines style. Ok maybe Metrolife isn't the best metro supplement Bangalore, I mean not yet...but now that I am here, am sure things will change.

Reporting from Bangalore bureau, Madhuri Kalyan, Metrolife, Deccan Herald.

Ayurvedic concepts

2008-11-28T07:02:00.006+05:30

Its about 7 am in the morning, still unearthly in madhuriland......but I just cant resist posting!

have been pretty sick past few days, with my respiratory and digestive system screwed up (cold and stomach ache), have been taking ayurvedic treatments, these weird green gooey pastes, and am not sure if I am getting better because of the medicine or because my body is stunned by the shock treatment subjected due to the disgusting taste.

My eating habits sure have taken a toll this past month, not that it was ever brilliant. So I get to swallow ayurvedic preparation specifically tailor made so that you wont ever fall into trap of eating for 'taste'.

And I have ashram kitchen food to top off the effect, thank god for small mercies like 'canteen'.

On my check list of not to eat these were the things included by my ayurveda doc

Ice creams

chocolates

sweets

milk products

Fried stuff

I just cant bear to go on as I am on the verge of nervous breakdown!

I mean how cruel is this!

So yesterday my mom came back from Bihar, after a month, and brought specialty besen ke laddu, and I could not make her feel bad by refusing....then there were Tirupati prasadam (of course prasad is not counted as calories), and Lindt-Lindor, which Sampath got from half way around the world. And I haven't even met Goli, who's got Belgian choco's from Brussels.....

Wow..its a wonder that my digestive system hasn't collapsed. Guess that gooey ayurvedic paste actually works, even though it makes you wish you never had taste buds.

I am now a totally fan of ayurveda, next time I might actually try them with the diet restrictions.

PS: According to Ayurveda, you need to fallow a healthy daily routine called 'dinacharya' and the fact that i'm up so early and ready for meditation shows that I am on the right track to ayurvedic enlightenment!

Confessions of an Ashramite

2008-11-19T23:32:00.005+05:30

Akin to a self sufficient capsule, in idyllic environs, you loose count days, and time simply dissolves.

Living in an ashram, away from the chaotic hustle bustle of the city life was something I took for granted. Ever since my parents moved here a year ago, I've made countless trips.

I remember the first sight of ashram, almost five years ago, the first glimpse of the majestic Vishalakshi Mandap, proudly standing against the backdrop of a clear sky, with a dome that glistens in the sunlight, and changes color at night. It looked as if it was something out of dreams.

And then over the years, with numerous satsangs with the master in the VM, and the meditation sessions in His presence. The sanctity of the place only increased in my eyes. And now, I feel almost as if I have grown up in this ashram, as the world outside ceases to exist the moment I step in here.

Life before the day I stepped into this enchanted land has slowly faded into oblivion. Every step I walk here feels sacred. Everything seems to take on an ethereal quality here. The colors seem more intense, music, more melodious, its as if mother nature is dressed in her best attire to please her lord.

Calm and meditative, yet alive and kicking. I've lost count of the time I've seen teary-eyed people, wishing they didnt have to ever leave this place.

Home is where you come back to nature, where you dont have to pretend anymore, where you never need to prove anything.

Its where you get the deepest rest. Its where no matter how much you grow up, you still get taken care off like a child.

Sometimes its not easy to accept things which are so blatantly natural, that truth shines from every pore of it. I got so accustomed to living in a artificial and pretentious world, that there were times when I felt uncomfortable, times when I felt my identity dissolved, times when I felt like rebelling.

And then I felt a presence, so comforting, so unconditional, that I knew, no matter what I did, I will always be taken care of. And those insecurities that lash on, only makes me stronger by the day, so that when I go outside, to take on the world, I would be able to extend the same unconditional love and comfort to those not as fortunate as me.

Ashram....even a simple act like typing this post in its space feels divine.

Jai gurudev!

UTSAV!

2008-09-27T15:36:00.006+05:30

Note: am 15 days late posting this.

(27th sept 2008)

Its like a bizarre melting pot of events, situations, people, emotions and of course plenty of chaos adding to the hoopla.

Its the last day already, time has slipped by at an alarming speed, leaving us blissed and blessed!

Here are snatches of Bau's brilliant Q n A, for unfortunate souls who missed the action.

Q Why do Parsis worship fire and other elements?

A 'Bhoomi' or earth has the quality of acceptance, it doesn't differentiate who should walk on it.

'Agni' or fire burns all negativity, and also purifies as when gold is melted, all the purity is retained.

Vayu or air is present everywhere, so is our mind, like when you walk into a movie theatre a little late, you feel a bit uncomfortable, that's because all the other minds present there are attuned to the film, and your mind is not aligned to that. So mind has its presence everywhere

Akash or space is completely involved yet, totally detached.

Neer or water is very adaptable, it takes the shape of the container it is poured in, also it goes to depth. We feel alive only when we dive deep. So dive deep in love, knowledge and meditation. As only a dead body stays afloat.

Akash or space is completely involved yet, totally detached.

Bhoomi ka 'BHA', Agni ka 'G', Vayu ka 'W' Akash ka 'A' and Neer ka 'N'

makes BHAGAWAN.

Q What is wisdom?

A Knowledge with experience is wisdom.

During satsang, Bau enchanted all of us by explaining the symbolism behind each deity.

About Devi

The most important portfolios are given to women- Finance, Education and Defence, leaving men literally with nothing.

Saraswati- She carries a book in one hand and veena in other, symbolising that left brained and right brain activity should go together, and her vahan is swan. So when you have music and logic balanced, then you can fly high like a swan.

Lakshmi- sits on a lotus, symbolising that money is very unstable, like a lotus on water, and can submerge anytime, so you've got to be very careful in terms of finances, but if you do Narayan's work (god's work) lakshmi will follow.

Durga: Her Vahan is a lion, the most powerful, and the laziest animal. So your defence should be powerful, but should be used as the last retort, a war should should be absolutely the last option, hence, you should be lazy while using defence.

Bau also stressed on the importance of being proactive, and how good people should stand up and start shouting so that the negativity is put to an end (will elaborate that in upcoming posts).

The last day was filled with music and celebration, and some special time with Bau at Saket Bhaiya's house. But wait. Utsav hasn't ended, its in fact just begun...especially with navratri starting, i'm off for the advanced course, celebrating silence with gurudev.

Sigh...blissed and blessed

Utsav fever

2008-09-19T01:54:00.005+05:30

Its less than a week to go and I am already feeling the heebee jeebies!
I mean just yesterday it was like a month ago and we just started working for UTSAV.
And now, the stage is almost set, the drums rolling!

For the past two weeks, a flurry of activity has overtaken the volunteers, and we cant think a thing past registrations and intro talks.
5 more days to be precise! Whoa!

One piece of knowledge I heard recently which made enormous sense

The two ingredients that help us evolve is Authenticity and Intensity.
Be very authentic in what ever you do, in your sincerity, for a cause,
to serve a higher purpose. And be intense, in you action, expression, emotions, feeling. That's what takes you back home, and brings you in touch with yourself, and you feel connected. Either laugh or cry, no in betweens. Also be intense, not extreme. Be normal, balanced on the outside, and intense within.

An Utsav has been an exercise in Intensity. Intense joy, intense frustration, intense love.
And its for a cause much much bigger that I could have ever fathomed.
Absolutely authentic

That's what Utsav is....Intensely authentic

Shut up...and take action!

2008-09-08T00:51:00.005+05:30

20 more days to go, and the countdown for Utsav has begun.

As usual, there is utter chaos.
To me its as if stepping into a whole new territory.
A territory beyond, beyond what i ever thought was humanly possible.
An Utsav of 3000 youth, for four days in persuit of spirituality.

Up till now, it was something i took for granted. Miracles have become so
common, that this one just failed to register.

Up till now, it was something i 'had to' work for.

Global cooling- Cool inside, cool outside
Thats our campaign for Utsav

So my mind was reeling on the 1001 never ending small things 'my job', 'my finances', my future....blah blah.
I did kriya, and my mind just like shut up! (cool inside)
And i knew that nothing was more important at this point of time than Utsav!

Its madness...but its a miracle, its about getting 3000 youth to 'shut up' their mind and
feel bliss. 3000 youth will be planting 10,000 saplings and adopting them, as a part of 'stand up and take action' (cool outside)

Suddenly i feel so light inside, suddenly i feel as if worrying about small things is an insult to the cause and suddenly i realise how amazing it is to just SHUT UP!

The spiritual high

2008-09-05T23:12:00.003+05:30

This is the article i wrote recently as a freelance for TOI...

Madhuri Kalyan
Times News Network

Intro: Hyderabad Times explores the new ‘coolness factor’ which the youth brigade flaunts, while getting high on spirituality

“Are you attending that hot party tonight?
“no honey I have early morning yoga lessons”.

It began as a fad, the Shiva printed t-shirts, the rudraksh accessories…for a while we thought it was the hippie era being revisited.
And then Yoga came along with a promise of a healthy lifestyle, with a generous dose of meditation….before we knew it, we were amidst a huge explosion of spirituality, where enrolling into a posh yoga studio and learning vedic chanting beat visiting the newest nightclubs in town. It was the phenomenon of ancient new age silently creeping into the lifestyles of the young and the restless.
Fad or fact?
For students and young professionals who have ‘Been there done that’, any new trend that hits is just a huge ‘yawn’, whether it’s retro, rock’n roll, boho or hippie. But spirituality is now rising into new heights, which takes it beyond being a fad and into a realm where youth discover a whole to dimension of life and living.
Says Devang Vora, a businessman and a teacher of yoga courses for youth, “for lot of youth it starts as fad but when they really go through it sincerely, they realize its significance and practical applications, like how to handle the mind and emotion, this aspect is missing formal education”.
Another aspect which attracts the youth to spirituality is taking a plunge into the unknown dimension of spirituality.
Says Venkatesh V, a game tester, “In an age where alcohol and drugs are synonymous to youth, spirituality comes as a breadth of fresh air. I experience a better high during meditation, that too without hangovers, so it was easy for me to give up drinking and smoking”.
For a healthy work-life balance
“It’s the easiest way to live a healthy lifestyle, and it doesn’t hurt that it’s cool! A decade ago, practicing yoga would have been considered archaic and uncool, not anymore”, says Shalini Singh, a HR professional with an MNC. Her daily routine goes like this- wakes up early at 5:30 am, by 6 am, she heads to her nearest center to do ‘group sadhana, where she does yoga and meditation with the group of youngster, all between the age group 18-30. Later the group discusses ancient knowledge discourses, and the various seva activities planned for the week. She also squeezes in a satsang or two in a week.
Shalini is a part of the growing youth brigade who turned to spirituality as a respite from her hectic pressure filled life.

Breaking religious barriers

Upping the coolness quotient of spirituality is that it deviates from all religious norms.
Spiritual practices cuts across all religious, social and even global barriers.
Says Khurshed Batliwala, the director of Art of living youth workshops, YES!+, “ do we become Americans if we wear jeans and Italians if we eat pizzas?, then why should spirituality be treated with an exception”.

Into the spiritual planes

So what plethora of experience does spirituality offer? Here’s what we found
Sadhana- (Yoga & Meditation) : all spiritual centers offer basic and advanced courses in basic yoga and meditation, each having a different flavors to it. Art of Living offers one of the most unique and specialized programs for young people
Satsang: Is an age old combination of singing and chanting, off late, we’ve witnessed a cool new avatar of traditional satsangs, called ‘Rock satsangs. These are simple bhanjans treated with rock and electronic acoustics.
Seva: “spirituality encourages a broad vision, which in turn inculcates values in young people, as well as empowers them to take responsibility for societal reforms of their choice”, says Khurshed Batliwala quoting an example of the same he says, “in Hyderabad we are conducting an event called ‘Utsav’, from 24th to 27th September 5-9 pm where in a span of four evenings the youth experience Sadhana, seva and satsang. As a part of ‘Utsav’, we are conducting a ‘Global cooling campaign- cool from inside, cool from outside’ by planting 10,000 trees, as a part of the UN ‘stand up and take action project’ in association with the GHMC”. Sounds like its USP -Uth turning towards Spiritual Power.

Clarity and confusion

2008-08-28T00:05:00.007+05:30

My 23rd birthday....

There's nothing special about turning 23. It just turns out to be another day of the year.
but being the hopeless romantic that i am, i'd been waiting this day for ages, the day when i'd get to meet Guruji, and he'd totally pamper me- garlanding me, cutting my cake......an event that i'd see happening to every person for the past 3 years, making me feel insanely jealous.

That day finally arrived......and within no time, i was sitting at the satsang balancing a cake and a huge garland, and suddenly i wished the satsang would never end. Guruji sang 'Hari narayan...., and i really really wished time would just freeze. The closer i got to 'the moment' the more i wished it could be prolonged.

Then finally there i was on the stage, fighting for his attention with 15 others (i swear most had fabricated birthdays) almost like a shark attack on Him.
I remember suddenly realising that i was standing in front of him, and there is a garland on my neck, as well as my cake, cut. Time froze

It was almost as if i experienced eternity that moment. The moment he flashed an angelic smile.
That passed too.....
The following week was utter chaos and confusion in life, as if every doubt floating in the existence decided to grace my life.
And then one day, i go about doing my things, as un purposefully as ever, dangerously close to falling into the never-ending doubt pit, i get an SMS......i usually hate SMS's i think its worse than spam in certain ways, as most of the time you dont even have a choice but to open and read some really pathetic ones.

The SMS said "when you are neither confused nor clear, only then can you be the perfect instrument of the divine", sent by a close friend called Ashish.

At that moment, i remembered Guruji's angelic smile, and i realised, in that presence, neither clarity nor confusion matters. Just being. And i realised in clarity and in confusion.......there is no silence.

Its 12:30 am, on 29th august, and i am exactly 12 days late in realising Guruji's birthday gift to me. A blessing to be silent. A place where i can always go back and 'be' just by the memory of that smile, that was meant just for me. Sorta like a room of requirement ( refer to Harry Potters)

Neither being clear, nor confused.....just silent.

Intro talked

2008-08-07T14:15:00.006+05:30

Okay, it's mon city's time for UTSAV.

The ball is set rolling, the YES!+ team is on a intro talk giving spree , and the registrations are slowly but surely trickling in.
Giving Intro talk's is a crazy experience in itself, here are some dont's while you address a group of students

Talks dont have optimum results when

just before lunch break
just after an exam
you've not done your kriya
you've already addressed some of the students in another class
you're the only person in a class full of zombies pretending to be students

Talks can become suicidal for you when

just after an exam and just before lunch,
you're the only person in a class full of hooligans pretending to be students (you never know where they have dangerous weapons concealed)

You know your talk is not going so well when the students are

-looking at you with a pitiful smile, waiting for your next screw up
-delighted at finding a 'bakra' to rag
- Frustrated, and looking at their watches
- oblivious to your presence, you might as well merge with the black board
- disturbed at the presence of an alien intruder telling them the art of living
- delighted that they've skipped their lab/lecture because of the talk, and looking at the door to safely sneak out and bunk.
- One by one walk out of the class pretending to take an important call.

So i have concluded that in spite of all these if we're still getting registration's...its because of something called guru's grace.
So my next post will be on the do's during intro talk.

Beeline Vs byline

2008-06-21T14:55:00.009+05:30

My desk and my system sat there exactly the way i'd left them, my water bottle at the workstation with 'MADHURI' inscribed in it was filled with fresh water. The floor was abuzz with activity, calling me to join in the frenzy to meet the deadline of firing the pages.

A pile of press event invitation lay there, and i instinctively grab them to scan which of them would be exciting to cover. Then i realise, I don't work here any anymore.

It's then that the trauma of quitting your job hits you. The same chair and workstation where i sat for the past one year, where i cried with frustration, jumped with joy, stole afternoon naps, quietly devoured a whole bar of chocolate without sharing, watched youtube in spite of the pending deadline, decorated with stuff toys and feng shui artifacts and even meditated.......

All dissolves. Quitting this job has been enormously painful, especially the ending part where it dragged on for days.

And now its finally over, and it's sapped me dry of all the energy, on top of it, dealing with a lot of uncertainties that were hounding me. I'm sick of answering every other person 'whats next!' as if it makes any difference to them.

I shoot a mail to my team members, saying goodbye and how nice it was to work and blah, feeling numb inside. My emotions are dangerously bordering towards what i've not had for a long time.....depression! And am surprised at myself.

Like wow, its been more than two years since i've been properly depressed. Saying this,

i just laugh at myself. At how stupid the whole thing sounds. And suddenly i also feel enormously blessed, for understanding the tricks for not feeling low.

Its like a life jacket, when you see every thing in this world as transient and somehow finding a sense of certainty in uncertainty.

That's what i realised. The body needs to work, and mind needs to chill out, and most of the time i was doing the opposite, getting my mind worked out and freezing my actions, i guess we're programmed to do this, especially when we feel down.

Another trick i've discovered to get out of feeling down, is to not take it seriously, because every time it feels as if its gonna stay forever. But it doesn't.

Knowledge and meditation and kriya act as an anaesthetic to pain...even though you feel the pain, you can accept it and go through with it, feeling light inside. Without carrying a heavy load in your heart, coz that's what blocks love. And love is like oxygen.....

And i feel light as cotton candy inside. Though i might still burst into tears.

So that's me quitting as a copy editor of Times of India. And this will probably be the last time i type a story in this system. Stories have an ending and beginning, but they never stop. Even if they are not published, even if there is no byline. And i guess those are some of the best stories in the world. Stories that cant be told, but experienced.

Favourites...

2008-06-19T12:20:00.003+05:30

Here's a list of my all time favourite books and movies...go grab hold of them if you havent been able to asap!

Eragon and its sequel Eldest are one of the best fantasy series I’ve come across. I loved the part where ancient sounds are used to evoke magic, very similar to Sanskrit. Also the fact that Eragon turns into a vegetarian.
Old path white clouds- About Buddha’s journey, before and after enlightenment and his disciple called Svasthi, a buffalo caretaker and Jataka Tales- Loved all the stories involving bodhisattva in different lifetimes as animals.
Kite runner- Love and compassion overflows in this book, with a beautiful description of Taliban rule as a background setting of this novel. One of the few books that made me weep.
Little women- One book I loved as a kid, and have read a hundred times. I love the family bonding and finally the four girls finding love (its three, coz one of the dies) in its sequel. I could relate a lot to Jo’s character, as a budding writer.
Bhagwatam: Especially the Krishna stories in it. Haven’t completed though. I plan to read and translate the Sanskrit version.

Movies
Movies should be made with a sense of purpose to deliver a strong message across. That’s what makes film such a strong medium. And these are a few movies that have left an impact on me.
The sound of music- Again an all time favourite. Am a big fan of its songs especially. It’s one of those perfect movies that would be watched by generations.
What the bleep do u know- A revolutionary concept that explores the depth of quantum physics. The ‘unreality’ of life is portrayed though physics.
Life is beautiful- My favourite movie of the whole list. Set in the backdrop of holocaust, a child is saved of the trauma of the events happening around, believing a story weaved by his father to explain the circumstance of concentration camp where they are imprisoned. Just like how Guruji saves us of all traumas with his incredible knowledge.
In pursuit of happiness- You have the ability to chase your dreams, no matter what circumstances you’re in. That’s the message that the movie sends.
Blood Diamond: I could relate a lot to Maddy’s character.

Utsav in Chennai

2008-06-16T11:05:00.003+05:30

Okay, here’s the reason why, I’ve been gayab for a long time. ( hope this misses my employer’s eye, have supplemented them with all kinds of lies)
I was just part of the biggest phenomenon to touch the earth since Magna Carta.

It’s a condensed version of YES!+ in four day, with none other than Bawa and Dinesh da
http://www.bawandinesh.blogspot.com/. Here’s a report of all the four days

Day 1

6:00 PM
More than 900 participants, and utter chaos, especially regarding the nametags. After the Initial hitches, everything went on to proceed magicallywith Bawa delivering the 'bad news' (no tea, no coffee, no no-veg, no sutta,no alcohol...) and within minutes the thousand odd participants had themselves hanging on to every word that

Bawa said
" Do this course as if your life depends on it, because how you do thiscourse from now on, is how you're going to live your life. Its success andfailure depends on it."
" This is a blessing from me and Dinesh, all the problems in life that youhad, will stop, and all that you wanted in you life from now on, you'llstart getting it."

The course started in usual YES!+ style, with the merchant game etc, Suryanamaskar etc.and ended most perfectly with the long kriya, (Bawa ordered all volunteersto join in) So the participants experienced the Sudarshan Kriya right on the first day,and had brilliant experiences to share.
"I felt that my nostrils are going to bleed, is that normal?
Bawa: "perfectly normal"

9:30 PM, a crowd of youngsters emerged out of the ground, spaced out withthe experience of long Kriya, and excited about the prospects of Day 2

Day 2 & 3

More Intense, more bliss and more Bawa......But the participants couldn't wait for more. Day two and day three were clearly Bawa's, everyone was in love with him especially after the Q & A round!

Q: I am a christian, how can I say om?
A: exactly the way the Hindus say it! You are an Indian, but do u become a 'gora' if you wear jeans? then most of the people in Chennai will start wearing it, and Ram will be the first one Rashmin will be the second.

Bawa also spoke about farmers in India and said the reason why they were committing suicide were because American and Canadian MNC's were selling them hybrid seeds that produce bumper crops, but were sterile (didn't produce more seeds) so they were becoming dependent on MNC's who are hiking up the seed prices every year as the original seeds are becoming scarce.Only one person has worked for this cause and has managed to save 450 varieties of natural seeds, and he meditates everyday, the MNC's offered him 10 crores to buy those seeds but he refused!Session was sprinkled with Bhajans and Chennai rocked to it! As Rashmin said, all events start with bliss and end with chaos, while AOL events start with chaos and end with Bliss.

Day 4

Sorry for the delay on the final installment of update.....
This was due to the fact that i was supposed to return to Hyd, but popped into Bangalore ashram to say a quick hi to guruji.

Anyway, reminiscing Utsav's last day, is an experience in itself

The surya namaskar's transformed into blissful rain dance, as the rain gods decided to bless us with cool droplets that washed our sweat away, and then the sadhana under the ocean breeze. From the stage the view of 900+ participants doing sadhana was like music for angels to dance

The sadhana then transformed into action packed Q and A session with Bau and Dinesh da.

Q what is spirituality?
A It is what religion wants to be when it grows up! Its any thing that uplifts you, your spirit, and puts a smile on your face.

Dinesh bhaiya made a very interesting observation on prana
"Some people have only a bucket full of prana while others have an ocean full, now what happens when you plonk a stone into bucket of water, almost all the water spills out. But to an ocean, it hardly makes a difference. thats the difference for a person who does pranayam and sadhana.

There are 5 sources of Prana

Food
sleep
breadth
meditation
cold water baths (secret source of prana )

On Satsang:

Usually it takes very heavy, hard core rock to shake one up, but for one who has become very light through sadhana, very soft music can stir your from within. And thats what we call satsang.

So there was dance, music, gyan and oodles of grace that swept the shores of Chennai. And Bau and Dinesh left with a promise to be back on the last week of august with another wave of Utsav.

The next day was a treat for math lovers with Bau's Mathemagic workshop and later Indiana Jones movie at satyam, which i missed coz I had to catch my Hyderabad train.
But half an hour sitting in my plush AC compartment I realised I was sitting in the wrong train (coolie's fault).
So rather than spending an extra day at Chennai, i booked a ticked for the same evening in Bau and Dinesh da's train (confirmed)

On the way to ashram (home) we met Guruji who was calling out to Indrani 6 am in the morning.
I still have no clue why am here. But it feels great! As if Utsav never got over.

And I guess Utsav is a perpetual phenomenon for anyone who has a guru in his life. And organising an Utsav just reemphasises this beautiful phenomenon.
Worries drop away, belongingness dawns, and you start being this person who is, full of bliss and light. Just like your guru. It’s a phenomenon that can only be experienced. For Shalini, Harini and I ( Rashmin jokingly said our names sounded out of one of bhanu didi's songs)
seeing this revolution sweeping Chennai's sleepy shores was a blessing. And we know we can take it one step ahead in Hyderabad

Birthday bash

2008-05-16T15:52:00.002+05:30

Gurudev's B'day:
Previous night we got all the guru puja stuff ready, and woke up at 2:30 am with somebody's SMS, before i could utter a curse and go back to sleep, i suddenly realised what it said “happy guruji’s b’day…”
Happy was an understatement.
Woke up at 4:30 am and went to Viji di’s house to help with setting up the place, not much to do anyway though.
5:40 am: Long Kriya….felt like the shortest long kriya ever.
7:00 am: guru puja
Had a wonderful Satsang after that.
There are many types of singers here.
People who love their voice, and others love their voice, and people who love their voice but others hate it especially when the drone goes on beyond one excruciating song. They sing and they sing and they sing…and they sing badly!
But they seem oblivious to the mental agony and torture that they cause to the fellow ‘satsangees’. My mom has a really nice word for them, they’re called ‘mikaasurs’- you can spot the anywhere, ready to leap on to the mike, to sing in their most off key tone, rendering the audience tone deaf.
But AOL people are too nice and let every tone-deaf mikaasur have their turn, and another and another. What I do, is simply stop playing my guitar.
Evening was brilliant, Geetanjali Didi was here, but her voice gave away quite soon, and then we were again at the mercy of ‘mikaasurs’ but divine grace intervened and we were saved as dinner was announced soon. Came home tired and happy.

Happy b’day guruji.